rewind

know wut?!i just felt so dam bad mood in a sudden..all the sad memories have come back to me!!!itz just hardly to put in sentences,where should i begin??my closer one should know bout it very well!why are my parents treating me like that?im 18 this year,but i just cant enjoy a teenager life like how my frens enjoy!i have no life at all,yet they think that im satisfy with wut they have give to me!i want my freedom!i deserve it!i need to be respected as how i respect them!i need my privacy!i want my life!i want everything to be in my way!im doing things that they like,doing wut they want me to do!i know myself very well!thatz why i enjoy being at mirado!at least i found myself there!why cant they just put a trust on me!?im not going to kill someone,or dating out there,or crubbing,or doing crimes..but i just want to be with my frens..thatz it!the invitation reminds me of how my dad used to treat my gang..miller,dustin,shawn,goran,gordon,matty,max....were the victims n so many of them where i just cant mention all!i just dun understand wutz act playing in my dadz mind!he just dun allow me to go out with my frens..not even one!n thatz why they sent me to a girl school zit?i just want to go out with them..thatz all!but he just dun trust me..hez tooo protective but i just cant stand that!i need my freedom!should i request for a lawyer..haha!im mature enough to take care of myself!i want to expose to the outside without any help from my family..but they just treat me like a kid!im an adult,not a kid anymore!i've been an obedient gal for 18 years..
sometimes,i just feel like doing something special to release my tension..something like vandalism,gangterism,taking pil estacy,crubbing,car racing..etc. my life is soooo 'dry' n im gonna die one day with those so call 'memory' with me to another world!i just like to see lengchai but i wont have a bf for sure at this moment..but they just dun trust me!i just wanna enjoy my life with my gang!why are they treating me like this!?is there any way to pursue them?should i just do something that let them feel how i feel?they used to have a wild n joyful teenage lives,why cant i have it too?they have been through everything n feel that wut is good n bad to me..but i also want to experience that?itz so unfair!i want to experience it by myself,not telling me from ya mouth!i need to talk to u kah hou!i need u here to comfort me!i know i can only go through it with u here...i cant stand anymore!why is everyone treating me like that?im not a happy-going person..im just escaping the problems,im not as tough as u think,i just dun wanna show to others bout my predicaments,nobody knows me..even the one that stay in the same room as me!i dun like the way she is!we are sooo different though we came from the same stomach!i rather talked to my dogs than talking to her!and everytime u are here for me..but u seems to be one of them now!