i love u as my fren!

i shudnt have tot so much...i've stopped to think bout this long time ago..and the feeling has once again came back to me..hmm,i wonder im feeling either curious or worry bout wut im feeling from him..i've been questioning myself..am i jus being oversensitive over him?frankly i wouldnt get to feel a guy who has feelings towards me..cos im the kinda of person who needs clarification if a guy has not open his mouth to pour out his feelings towards me..furthermore,i've been treating him as a real good buddy...of cos i wouldnt wan something 'extraordinary'' to take place which might destroy our friendship..if it does, then it'l be a sad case and even out of my expectation to accept the fact..

somehow, i jus hope that wut i've been figuring is nonsense and i doubt i wouldnt handle it properly.....wut shud i do then?shud i ask him?or shud i jus keep it by myself?but wutz the point of confronting to him since i dun hope to get involved?

however,im sure with one thing..which i'l love him as my fren!!!!!!saranghamida...my fren!!

wut can i do?

really feel bored wit my life at this moment..

i noe shudnt have complaint so much since i might live a better life than many ppl in the world,but i feel bored with the real side of the society..the actual reason for living and surviving..somehow, i really dun wanna accept and adopt but there isnt a choice for me..i'l be lack behind if i dun adopt to the norm,i'l be alienated if i hesitate in being part of the norm..anyhow, i really worry that i might lost my personality and being one of them..i dun hope this wil happen to me one day,if it does then everyone wil surely hate me and be apart from me.

sometimes i really have no idea wut shud i do..and how shud i overcome those situations..i really dun hope tat anyone wil get hurt..and i dun hope anything that happen wil destroy the interaction...i dun wanna have enemies...i dun wanna hate ppl..and i cant control ppl to dislike me or even to arise their hatre towards me..i wan everyone to be my buddy instead of enemy..i really dunno noe wut shud i do..do u think itz worthwhile if no one gets hurt but yaself?no one noes bout ya feelings except yaself?no one noes bout ya hardwork except yaself?no one noes bout ya sorrows except yaself??if it happens to bring harmony into life..shud i give it a try?

shud u fight for it even i noe i might deserve a better treatment or respectation?but isnt it worthwhile for me to fight for it at the first place?and wut will be the consequences of the battle?wil anyone get hurt?wut the point of begining the battle?or shud i jus give up even i noe i have the ability and confidence to fight for myself?or am i jus being over worried with it?i've been thinking too much where im not supposed to think bout it?

desperate???u may say tat...and i think i am in the situation of being so desperately to have a bf...kakakak!!

i feel strange as whenever they send me a nudge or something ...it act means that there are more updates waiting for me to discover...they have something new to tell me...which im really happie since they have the intention to share all this with me...

somehow,i jus feel myself a loser...i've wondering isnt my attitudes or personalities a problem ...as i've been treating guys and gals as the same species in my world...why cant i just get someone from the same class as me..or from the same campus as me as my bf?perhaps my attitudes are really a matter into this..

sometimes i really wonder isnt he the right person that i've been looking for??or itz jus the same old case...im really tired at this moment...i really have no idea wut to do...to continue to put all my love and cares onto him..or jus seek for another one..i really have no idea whether im doing the right thing...