this guy is making to confusion...
even i get confused with my own feelings..when i tend to smile to him,he seems so cool to me...when im forcing myself to be calm down and not to bother so much...he tends to arise my feeling again...seriously i have no idea bout wut is playing around in guys mind!i got tired of it..i jus wanna have simplicity in life...i dun wanna think too much ...complixite things...making it to get worsen..i jus wan something pure...but sometimes itz hard to get in reality...oni in movie!i hope i'l get wut i wan ...something less than complication...something more than perfection,something simple!
sometimes,i really wanna confess to him...are u feeling the same as how i feel?i really wanna noe the answer,perhaps there isnt any answer,jus tat i've been thinking too much ...rich imagination on wutz happening around me...maybe im too free and have nothing to do...tatz why my mind has been non stop thinking of the rubbish!
i feel so boring staying at home...i've got wut i wan finally though,i tot i would be happie and satisfied,but this is not the fact!the fact is i wanna have my space and freedom...whether is with my gang or not..i think i need to travel...either with someone or jus by myself!i wanna see the world...wutz act happening outside there..something tat is wating for me to discover..i really envy wut my other frens have...i really hope to have my freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i wanna have myself...i dun have anything nice to be kept in my memory...nothing much to write in the listed diary!i really hope to get to experience the fun and joys of wut i wan!i really desire it...and i think i deserve it!cos itz human rights!
during freetime,i even tot of how shud i be an ideal parent if provided i have kids in future..i'l nv treat them like how im eexperiencing now...make frens with children instead of parenting them....im sure i might be good parent if i do have the chance in future!hope this day wil come!!
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
the first time ever to feel "close" from him..
act it wasnt really close in the sense,but we jus talked bout the bands,singers,artists...and i think he really has the skill to hold the clients back huh...but i hope this wasnt his objective..i hope he really wanna teach me as a student..but i really enjoyed the lesson today!it was dam fun !!!i like it so much!!cos itz my style...back to my style...i love tat kind of music...i love tat kind of oomph!i jus love it~and itz so nice to have lessons...oni today..hahahha!i mean previously was found to be kinda boring...cos hez a boring person...but we really talked today...as in really have some kinda discussion...but i found something funny...where i like those tat he dislike...kakakkakaka!sorry la..i really like their songs...nice ma!different taste lo...we listen to different accompaniment..so different preference lo!kakaka!and i finally realised the fun of playing drums...the joy of jaming...itz dam high man!!!!nokidding!!!
act it wasnt really close in the sense,but we jus talked bout the bands,singers,artists...and i think he really has the skill to hold the clients back huh...but i hope this wasnt his objective..i hope he really wanna teach me as a student..but i really enjoyed the lesson today!it was dam fun !!!i like it so much!!cos itz my style...back to my style...i love tat kind of music...i love tat kind of oomph!i jus love it~and itz so nice to have lessons...oni today..hahahha!i mean previously was found to be kinda boring...cos hez a boring person...but we really talked today...as in really have some kinda discussion...but i found something funny...where i like those tat he dislike...kakakkakaka!sorry la..i really like their songs...nice ma!different taste lo...we listen to different accompaniment..so different preference lo!kakaka!and i finally realised the fun of playing drums...the joy of jaming...itz dam high man!!!!nokidding!!!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
no turning back...no regrets!
no one else but you
to be the one that has been stunning shimmering in front of me
and never gonna get you out of mind
no one else only you
to be the one i've thinking of
everyday and every night
and any second anytime
in my life
written and composed by cheong shiaw lee..;p
this is oni the chorus part..can u imagine i act wrote him a song?wow,even the same thing happened...but the inspiration wasnt strong enough for me to jus turn on the recorder,had the guitar on the hand,and jus strummed out...somehow, it might sounds a little imperfect as compared to a recorded song by the singer...but itz my masterpiece k!!!this song expresses my feelings,my obssession towards him!!!!and i've thinking of the silly stuffs all the time...im so worry that i might be seeing him one day holding someonez hand,probably his gf..but i couldnt picture if he holds a guyz hand,which possibly a bf!or maybe he already married with another woman,and have kids...im so worry this day wil come...i jus think that i couldnt stand it!and this is the first person that makes me feeling in this way...where i have much worries,imaginations,stupid thoughts...etc.he makes me melt off onto him..as in i think i have fallen deeply into this guy...no turning back...no regrets!somtimes i jus feel myself so sick in mind..even i knew itz gonna be likely impossible to happen..but i jus like him!!!and i keep thinking of him...even a bunch of keys has cause me to think for tonnes of possible reasons!!!i jus couldnt control myself from thinking of him!itz so crazy man!!so scary....i couldnt believe tat my feeling is getting stronger from day to day!!!OH NO!!!
to be the one that has been stunning shimmering in front of me
and never gonna get you out of mind
no one else only you
to be the one i've thinking of
everyday and every night
and any second anytime
in my life
written and composed by cheong shiaw lee..;p
this is oni the chorus part..can u imagine i act wrote him a song?wow,even the same thing happened...but the inspiration wasnt strong enough for me to jus turn on the recorder,had the guitar on the hand,and jus strummed out...somehow, it might sounds a little imperfect as compared to a recorded song by the singer...but itz my masterpiece k!!!this song expresses my feelings,my obssession towards him!!!!and i've thinking of the silly stuffs all the time...im so worry that i might be seeing him one day holding someonez hand,probably his gf..but i couldnt picture if he holds a guyz hand,which possibly a bf!or maybe he already married with another woman,and have kids...im so worry this day wil come...i jus think that i couldnt stand it!and this is the first person that makes me feeling in this way...where i have much worries,imaginations,stupid thoughts...etc.he makes me melt off onto him..as in i think i have fallen deeply into this guy...no turning back...no regrets!somtimes i jus feel myself so sick in mind..even i knew itz gonna be likely impossible to happen..but i jus like him!!!and i keep thinking of him...even a bunch of keys has cause me to think for tonnes of possible reasons!!!i jus couldnt control myself from thinking of him!itz so crazy man!!so scary....i couldnt believe tat my feeling is getting stronger from day to day!!!OH NO!!!
Monday, May 07, 2007
5 months time...
this is why i feel so comfortable to blog out here...since none of my frens is reading it..blah!
i may like to announce here that i let go gavin lai jor!!!!!kakakak!a feeling got to me ytd..that asking me to dislike him,perhaps someting that annoyed me..i really dun und wut was i so adore to him...perhaps his outlooking is charming..but there are others who are much better than he is out there..perhaps he plays guitar..but i dun think hez the best..even my bro can play better than him...perhaps he has his personality shines,but there are even ppl who behaves much better like kai...etc!kaka...i got all his bad things after i've listed im in the recycle bin!yeah!seriously i felt real good..itz something like u release something from ya hand,or u release a anchor from a ship,flying up the sky in an aeroplane,having a nice scuba dive,having a nice taste of red wine...somhow i jus cherish this moment!the feeling cam to me in a sudden...n it was kinda increadible..i tried so hard to let go previously,but jus one second,it did!and everything was like wut it was supposed to be in the past. someone new wil come to my life...this is wut i hope for...kaka!!furthermore, i was pretty surprised that the person that i miss to leave here is wilson!hez lect from my coll who teaches computing classes..hez not old,come on!and im so adore to him...in which imnot gonna see him anymore after shifting to the new campus!im sooo upset with it...surprisingly im kinda happie for not seeing gavin!kakak!i dun think he treats me even as a fren,i jus think that itz so sucks!why shud i stil keep admiring someone who treats me so suck up?no point of being in that way..perhaps a normal fren wil be better!i dun care whether he likes me or not..but the fact is i dun like him...n i dun have the heart for him anymore!kekek!i dun bother anymore wut he has done to me,wut hez goin to do to me,wut heztrying to do to me..wut he'l do to me!it'l nv influence me...my reply wil be ''oo,,ok''!tatz all for him!
i may like to announce here that i let go gavin lai jor!!!!!kakakak!a feeling got to me ytd..that asking me to dislike him,perhaps someting that annoyed me..i really dun und wut was i so adore to him...perhaps his outlooking is charming..but there are others who are much better than he is out there..perhaps he plays guitar..but i dun think hez the best..even my bro can play better than him...perhaps he has his personality shines,but there are even ppl who behaves much better like kai...etc!kaka...i got all his bad things after i've listed im in the recycle bin!yeah!seriously i felt real good..itz something like u release something from ya hand,or u release a anchor from a ship,flying up the sky in an aeroplane,having a nice scuba dive,having a nice taste of red wine...somhow i jus cherish this moment!the feeling cam to me in a sudden...n it was kinda increadible..i tried so hard to let go previously,but jus one second,it did!and everything was like wut it was supposed to be in the past. someone new wil come to my life...this is wut i hope for...kaka!!furthermore, i was pretty surprised that the person that i miss to leave here is wilson!hez lect from my coll who teaches computing classes..hez not old,come on!and im so adore to him...in which imnot gonna see him anymore after shifting to the new campus!im sooo upset with it...surprisingly im kinda happie for not seeing gavin!kakak!i dun think he treats me even as a fren,i jus think that itz so sucks!why shud i stil keep admiring someone who treats me so suck up?no point of being in that way..perhaps a normal fren wil be better!i dun care whether he likes me or not..but the fact is i dun like him...n i dun have the heart for him anymore!kekek!i dun bother anymore wut he has done to me,wut hez goin to do to me,wut heztrying to do to me..wut he'l do to me!it'l nv influence me...my reply wil be ''oo,,ok''!tatz all for him!
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