you're the one

who i like?



my fren jus asked me a question regarding the type of guys tat i interested.frankly i was pretty hard to tell him the answer cos i have many ideas bout my ideal guy..but the first thing tat came to my mind was soya bean..haha!currently hez the type of guy i like..somehow, i think im gonna talk non-stop on this topic..



anyway,have u ever miss someone that u love?someone tat u really care bout?someone that makes ya heart pump like nobody business?someone tat makes u worry all night long?someone tat makes u feel happy and tempted?someone that drives u to insane?someone that opens ya heart?someone that gives u energy whenever u are in hunger?someone that drives up ya passion toward achieving ya goal?someone that is in deep in ya heart?someone that u've been thinking everyday,every second,anytime?someone tat makes u feel so desperate to hug him?
wel,im goin through all this..it sounds like stupid and ridiculous to do all this,but to me,i jus think itz contented that i share my love to someone...hehe!

someone is back...

someone is back...

it has been ages for me not to mention bout this guy..tt,abreviaton of thomas tan..haha!he used to be my top-listed guy...wel,i really love this guy previously...he had driven me crazy.
anyway,the reason tat has act brought my intention to blog here was..something tat makes me feel increadible..jus wanna share it out..
on tuesday night,i was lying on my bed,thinking of wut have happened recently,the person tat i've admiring recently,the day after tonight,the things tat are gonna happen next morning, the possibility of seeing in the next morning...the person tat i meant wasnt not tt,itz another guy since tt has left for some time..at this moment,the name thomas tan jus flashed thru my mind,the memories of us performing together,practicing together,laughing,all these were stil fresh in my mind..then,questions appeared to myself,how wil i feel if i would have a chance to see him again?how would i response if im gonna see him face to face on day?am i gonna say 'hi' to him?or jus get myself stun there?how awkward would the situation be?or he'l jus pretend not seeing him and we end up being passers-by?anyhow, i was surprised tat when i tot of seeing him again,i jus realised tat i teared out!!wut da..how could i waste any of my tear on this guy??come on,i shudnt have continue to be a loserr!!!but i was pretty emotional...wel,i had a piano practice section on thurs,and lyden jus came to my studio and told me tat "ya bf has come back ytd "...i was pretty curious bout who would be my bf...i dun have one,and even asked him to intro to me..kakak! "thomas tan"....i got stunned for some seconds,seriously i had no idea how shud i response to him!after i've got this news,i got kinda distracted with these...the words kept appearing in my mind..''thomas tan is back''..seems like i have fallen in love with another person, i tot i would feel nothing bout this..but the fact is i stil got distracted with him..i think i 've gotta make myself clear about my feelings!!

my best frens...

it sounds like a reunion..

i alwis on the believe that we shud not done something to others which u dun hope to get from others..furthermore,i do believe that anything happens wil have the reasons,we've gotta cherish wut we have at this moment so tat we'l nv regret in the future..other than this,i oso think that when something good comes to me,something bad is waiting for me..i'l wont have good luck accompanying me all the time..so i need to appreciate before things happen to be worse..as the conclusion,i hope to live happily evenyday,enjoy the lifetime tat i have every moment instead of worrying of wutz gonna happen which is out of my control and expectation...i hope i can do this to make everyone around me to be happy..

anyway,the YA members met up..btw,YA is youth ablaze,which is some kinda fellowship held at the collage..meeting up the guys were the happy thing after a realistic-business review based-audit class by our excellent lect Mr Ramesh..hez such a wise man!!im his admirer...keke!wel,it's been a long time for us not to meet up in gang..i was surprised tat many of them came all the way from SS2 to KD campus!wow!this was the first meeting held at the campus,therefore, it was kinda funny and excited..as usual would have snacks while the meeting was carried out,and this made the atmosphere to be more relaxable.afterward,we went to 1U for lunch..wow!chilling out with them was the funniest and relaxable time cos u dun have to be wut ur supposed to be in front of a guy..jus be yaself as u are with ya family members..jus burb out as when u wan to..jus laugh as loud as u can whenever u wan..their are like big boys to joke and play with,but oso big guys when u need to be protected!haha!buddy buddy ma!

can i?shud i?am i?

i kept questioning myself bout the samething..i went to mirado for piano practice since exam is jus round the corner,i saw eddie and lynden..as usual,we would have topic to talk bout..but i'l say tat eddie looked fabulous with himself dressed up formally!!wowow!u look awesome dude!this was the first ever time for me to see him in this way..
anyway,the main point was both of them suggested me to be a truely musician..hm..i used to considered bout this question when i was at high school,or even 1 or2 years before from now..but i think i've chosen to be involved in the business industry where i gradually get myself used to the business world though im worry bout the reality of it..but im getting curious and interested into wut im learning...auditing,management,taxation,marketing...etc.im pretty happy tat i finally have put on the interest..back to the topic,i was kinda suspicious on myself whether i really manage to be a truely musician or jus taking it as a hobby in life?hmm..i started off with my interest on singing,then my parents jus discovered tat i have interest and perhaps talent in music,which lead them to buy me music instruments..i then became an addict to 'it',even told them tat i cant live without music!wow..i was pretty proud of wut i'd said!recently i found myself to have changed whereby i might have lost the enthusiatism and determination in music..perhaps i've been learning things which out of my interest..u may say im being stubborn,but im a nuts in classical music!!i keep wonderinn why would i took up the piano exams and courses?haha!itz ridiculous..somehow,i jus went back to who i am and took up drum lesson secretly..keke!musician..wut does it mean?pianist?keyboardist?guitarist?drummer?organist?full time music teacher?i have no comment on it cos im half way towards the business industry...i sure tat i'l be a graduate tat major in the business and accounting area!however,music is stil part of my life, and i'l nv give up in any chances to connect myslef to music or discovering new things...cos i like learning!

just read a blog written by my cousin..



happie birthday to my cousin sis- wei wei ...sweet 14 huh!how i wish im stil at teenage..but no more looo..reviewing wut i 've done during my teenage life,i felt pretty ashamed with myself,i act was a boring person,i did nothing special during the 5 years of my high school life..itz pretty sad!i was such an obedient daughter to my parents,obeying everything tat they asked me to do..why shudnt i be a little ignorance to them?!perhaps i shud have done something tat is memorable which at least makes my life to be a little bit colourful..something meaningful so tat i may have some stories to tell my grandchildren..kaka!



anyway,reading the blog,and sometimes watching some series,i felt that i am a truely loser!!!i've nv been through the feeling of having a bf over the 20 years!!!sometimes i might just feel so despearate of jus getting one...but am i suppose to get anyone else in order to fulfil wut i want?though i really hope to have someone there to love me..but isnt it good to just pick anyone out there?or i jus get whoever which is single and go ahead with the confession even i have no good feelings towards the guy!?or i would jus say yes to whoever that is available around me?hmm..i think i might not do this at this moment...i have doubt in future if im stil a single for another 10 years!i have worries on myself for not doing anything, and being pressure to regret in future whereby i have done nothing and nv appreciate my lifetime...or i might regret tat i've just left my lifetime passed in such a meaningless way...im so worry bout this!furthermore,i have no idea wut shud i do except the wishes tat i've listed down..

btw,i really have doubt on myself wutz happening in my life now..i tot i should achieve wutever targets that i've been set...however, i lose the dynamic and enthusiatism to continue my battle towards all my targets..sometimes i really need supports,either literally or mentally..i jus need supports!!!but no one seems to bother bout it...perhaps everyone has their own responsibility in their life..so would they bother bout others?i noe itz being bad to say this cos i noe tat there are of cos ppl who act care for me...i really cherish for their consideration!i love u guys!

hopefully i'l get to find myself very soon..i wanna get back to who i was to be..my confidence,my curiousity towards the surrounding,my passion towards my life,my reason of living in this world..

my listed wishes and targets to be done:
-lose weight preferably to 50kg
-do well in my study,wish to achieve distinction in degree
-write songs,compose songs...
-to be a friendly person,down to earth...learn from mistake...i dun wanna be sportlighted,but someone where ppl wil turn to me when they have probs,sadness..i dun mind to listen to them..

to be continued..

sometimes i dun even noe wutz the purpose of switching on the pc..

perhaps to dl wut i have choosed..to update some info..to chat with frens..my life sounds really boring..jus read my fren's blog,where she has found the purpose of living in the world,where she found herself,her reason of living,that shez here because of jesus!wel,i heard of this from others as well,and i think im blessful cos im here!

listening from my another fren,where her frens were killed in an accident..this really scares me away cos life is jus so miserable,as in we really have no idea wutz gonna happen next..no prediction but we do have a choice to appreciate everything that is with us now!i dun wanna live in regrets,i dun wanna look back to the past..maybe the experience will build me into a tougher person..but not to fear me off!i dun wanna let the past to be a reason for me as burden..

btw,i found my gang to have splited into 2...we used to be so united as one team..u'l for sure to see us togather at anytime and any place..but thing has changed at the beginning of the year..and i have doubt in trusting some of them..perhaps they've found something even better than wut we have...