feel it with ya heart...

wut do u get from a song when u listen to it?

at the very first time where u got approached to this song..that u have no idea bout it..which is a whole new song to u...wut would be the first thing that attract ya attention?something that catches ya soul to combine with the song and play along with it?something that makes u so tempting on the song and even feeling full by listening to the song....something that u feel fantastic with as if u have got the right thing at the right time...something that arise all ya inner feelings...ya memories..or some song that represents something or meant for it..a song that u'l nv feel bored with thru out ya whole life...

or maybe u'l jus pay total attention on the arrangement without bothering on wut have the composer or song writers are trying to express thru such medium...perhaps a great arrangement is the point to it..wut if the song is jus played with a single instrument..mostly unplugged??or a solo without a word of lyrics?then u've gotta feel it...

i share with him and he doesnt~

itz been a habit for me to notice whether or not his name is appearing at my MSN list...i'l somehow feeel like missing something for the day if hez not online..sigh~

is this gonna indicate that im goin to a more critical stage of falling on him?haha~i was a tremendously emo person....my feelings can be a rollercoster for now and a total change to a ferris wheel in next min..and i felt really disappointed when i knew my 2 close bros were not gonna attend todayz class..i noe im gonna have a hard time..and i nearly told FY ,my fren while on the way to campus..phew~~~i jus cant tell her the truth although i wanted it so much..i noe i jus cant tel her if i wouldnt wan things to be even complicated~of cos i do hope that he noes my feelings towards him,but i've been thinking of wut can i give to him?

anyway, i was really down in the morning whereby i had nothing to speak about,even if hez sitting by my side,the feeling was jus to remain silent for some time..and this was so not my style..ppl think that im talkactive,which is not the 100% of CSL~i do but im do not all the time..i do have moody time in my life rite?and i din feel like bothering wut he was saying or doing since he din even bother wut i said to him...sigh~~thatz more than enough to hurt me~im realising that i've been trying to think in my own way,without thinking on wut he has does to others..perhaps everything happens to be one sided...i share everything with him...but he seems to keep everything away from me....perhaps this has shown that hez not willing to share his personal feelings with me so isnt it the answer saying that he's jus treating me as a normal fren?obviously rite~and yet im stil so falling so deeply into him...and the feeling is getting stronger everyday...which is so gonna kill me~

i need u when im at the bottom,i need u too when im at the peak

MY CLOUD~~im trying my very best to be happie since we are celebrating ya birthday..but thh fact is there..i jus hardly display something else rather than moody on my face..i dun wanna pretend but i noe i have to..and the lucnh was really a tough task for me..i rather stay at home and enjoy watching TV...i keep wondering wut have i done to him..i mean another fren..did i do anything that makes him dislike me?did i?i really have no idea..why has he to treat me so cold recently..perhaps i have done something wrong towards him..but shudnt he be treating me like this??how would he feel if he were to be treated in this way?dam itz hurt k~~u are making me to hate myself..u making me to feel as if i've done anything wrong in my life..i rather wan u to tel me my wrong doings..and ask for forgiveness...at least i noe the mistakes..

anyway..i was kinda lost today ...as in i really have no idea wut shud i do.everyting jus happened in a sudden and im trying to handle it with my very best..im so lost~~~i hardly recall my memory...everything seems to be a mess..i feel so lost~~~i wanna get rid wit this kinda lifestyle..i wanna have my determination back to my life...i dun wanna let a guy to ruin my entire life...and i noe im not cos im selfish enough to say that..i hate myself of fallin into him..i really hate it~~im feeling as if im abnormal since i've fallen into my buddy~~~i wanna cry~~dear dear..where are u??i need u to be here with me when im upset..i need u so much cos u are the one which allows me to cry on ya shoulder without thinking of embarrassment..im not as tough as u do..i really admire the way u take things..when can i be like u?i need u when im at the bottom..i need u too when im at the peak~~

why am i to go thru this moment..i've experienced the same thing last year..which my koh koh was there to support me and went thru everything with me..but things've changed..no one is here to support me in getting over all this...jus feel how stupid am i to repeat the same mistake..same feelings..but i took 3 days to heal myself up..and i hope i'l make it shorter...

hottie+sexie=lesbian post

i knew itz gonna be u hottie~~muax~~~huggies~~~im so happie to share my ups and downs wit u..somehow we are xx miles away..yet we stil care for each other...im really glad to known u as fren~~~

anyway,jus feel like talking something bout the prom night whcih was held last fri at MPHall of my campus..frankly the atmosphere was oni so so as compared to last year..and even the food was jus normal..but the goodies bag was not worthy..and of cos the ppl were nicely dressed up even better than previous year..it was such an amaze..but of cos u would see the emcees without their excitement this year even they remained unchanged..i jus couldnt see their flame thru their eyes..everything was jus done in the so so way...and even my performance was really a mess..cos i din went thru the sound test b4 the performance..and jus told the DJ at the very last mins...which cos them trouble..but luckily we managed to coped with it..anyhow, we were really panic cos we did practiced twice officially ..and i wasnt familiar with the song since it was the first time for me to listen to the song...of cos i'l try my best to do it~

the make up was really nice cos FOC..my fav~~yeah~~jus nice and pro skills..all thanks to the make up team from creative..they were really gorgeous and helpful as the guys were really chunned~~cos they were so tender and caring when u were willing to let them to apply those chemical onto ya face as they wish..they respect u and even listen to ya suggestions or opinions..and the main thing is they are really nice and friendly persons~~keke~

anyway..another thing that had flied me up to the sky was..i took pic with this guy~~~i din expect him to take pic with me cos i dinno that he attended the prom..coincidently he was there queing for the food..and he saw me..wowow~~i was really happie and shy when he put his hand at my shoulder and jus took pic..as in hez so close to me..kekekekekke~~hapie cos hez the first one~keke~~~~better not to dream ~

anyway..my fren said our performance was really nice..i was amazed that we sang pretty well as compared to other singing groups..cos our style was soft and sweet instead of DIVA..luckily we choosed the right song instead of continuing with the DIVA songs which might have jus spoilt ouu voice and reputation..keke~we enjoyed the applause...we enjoyed the cheers..i felt great to see that my frens were there to support me and my fren as well~~although there were some prob of the mic..and mistake in lyrics..but we'd tried our best and have no regrets~we'd done it finally~

the most happie thing was took pic with many ppl..they were really awesome and gorgeous..pretty and handsome faces everrywhere..

how i wish u were here with me to post for lesbian shots..hottie~sigh~~~

small matters..but itz mesmorize~

my lips...i feel really itchy now..sob sob ~~~and fri is the prom night..and im gonna sing on the night~~~wut am i supposed to do??the most important that i've done was to seek consultancy from a doctor..and i did~~but im stil worry...sigh~hopefully everything wl be fine by tmr...pray hard~~~

and also ming huiy to get well soon ...cos shez gonna duet wit me for the performance...i really hope that she'l get well soon ...and really sorry that im making much trouble for u...get scolded byt joanne...got sick...got stressful..get into tso bz with my stuff..SORRY~~

anyway..im kinda happie today although it was jus a small little thing...but i was really happie with all this small matters..with his attitudes...with his merajuk..with his shoes...heheh~~~
although he might not felt anything..but it was really nice and funny to stay right by his side...and i wont be feeling embarrasing in front of him..even i fall down today...my knee has gone blue black for a spot..but i din felt embarrased even i jus fall in front of him..keke~~perhaps frens are like this...

well,many things seem to rollling of the snow ball...everything seems to be linking one to another ...which really gives me a hard time to make decision...whether i shud continue with the effort to carry on with the club...or jus give up by saying 'i quit'....but then everything seems to have linked me into it..can i be irresponsible to jus leave everything to another person...i really had a hard time with all these..i got pissed off with it..i teared bcos of it...perhaps it has oso brought to me some happie memories..but sad thing seemed to happen more often~~keke~~

yeah~

im sweating now...dear dear~~~~~~~~~where are u???kekek

dun la angry me la..i din meant to fool u around ...hehe~~jus tat i was in front of the PC..and i saw u online at tat moment...u were not the oni one that being fooled by me..kekek~~there were other ppl tooo..even his elder sis~~~heheh...hopefully he dun angry that i've brought him a mess..anyway,it was fun~~SHARON KONG~~am i smart?cos even u couldnt even recognised my way of speaking..kekek~~oh no~~~~hurts me man~~and u said im gonna kena from u..OMG~~wut are u trying to do to me???oh no~~~dun scare me man~~keke~~

anyway..today was really fun ..cos the feelings were really nice...although it wasnt any nice clubbing venues...or pubs..or any nice restaurants..but the feeling were real good.lay under the sun ...wowo~~i like it..and of cos with them wil be alwis the funniest activities to do in my life..they will really give u an attempt to laugh out as loud as possible~keke~and please becareful with ya jaws when u laugh..
and the pan mee was really nice as breaklunch~of cos the most happie thing was pan mee+leng chais~~~kekeke~~this had really made my lunch even more fantastic than ever..wowow~~and of cos the point of the day was...they've learned a song-secret~~~wowow...im so glad cos i taught them the song...both of them able to play after 2 lessons~~~they are noobs..or i may say beginners in learning piano~~but im really glad that they've pay attention into it...i appreciate their effort dude~~u guys really cool~~~

MY VERY CSL~

i dun like the feelings of being annoyed..and of cos i think everyone does the same thing as me rite,dont u?

therez alwis a border line in my dictionary as everyone can have funs..fool around and play jokes...but of cos therez alwis a boundary no matter wut or who u are...of cos i do have...and some of them out there doesnt seem to notice that im hot tempered person ..and will get into anger mode easily...and sometimes wut they said would have really hurt me deeply or even annoys me without them realising..but wutz the point of tellin them face to face if they dun even wanna bother bout it?isnt it meaningless if i were to pour tat out face to face..

on the other hand..it might be a good aid or remedy during the healing process...where i'l et annoyed by...until the max stage where i couldnt stand it anymore...where i can act give up everything..where i can act let go everything...where i'l make up my mind to say 'bye bye' and start a better life...i seem to goin thru this stage..where im gonna have my very CSL soon~~~im gonna have my very CSL~~~