reader has stronger imagination than spectator....

have been getting up with some reading materials recently, trying to get on track with wutz happening in the real world instead of living in my dreamland, knowing nothing, being lagged behind, at least i noe wut happening in the board..kaka~

anyhow, my best fren delivered me a book by surprise all the way from UK, which i have heard of it by the movie shown, anticipation but no action in regard of marching into MPH and gets the book, paying at the cashier, this is me. rather spending dollars on ridiculous stuff than treating myself something that i want or interested. somehow, im glad and feeling great reading this book mainly itz meaningful and sweet although the story regarding a woman's life after the death of her hubby. yes, u got it right, P.S. i love u, tatz the title of the book~

strangely, i got the picture and images drawned up clearly in my mind, with my powerfully imaginative and dillutive brains working so perfectly togather merely with the sentences written in the book. i could picture the scenery, the facial expressions and physical movements of the hero and heroin, the interior design of the places, the behaviours of the characters...etc. sometimes i may even tear when reading the PS notes from the hubby that specially dedicated to his lovely Holly, it seems like i could und the entire msg and feeling that hez trying to deliver. wel, i found myself so strange being this way....kaka~cos reading nv been such a wondering thing to me all this while until i realised that nothing is much better than reading it by ourselves with our innated imagination. movies cant satisfy everyone, even you and me might find it imperfect in some ways. i began to adapt the concept of reading...kaka

darn it~

how shud i do now?i really feel so frustrated on them..how could it happen?i nv expected him to be like this...i really feel pist even i shudnt have had any this kinda feeling though.how he be like this?or im jus being too subjectives towards wut he has been doing?wel ,i really have no idea shud i help him to complete his courseworks or jus stay calm by doing nothing at all?wut shud i do?

i have a feeling that hez been thinking i'l be the one that steps out to assist him every last minute of submission but this is not the way it shud be happening.why am i doing this to actually kill him?but i jus think that hez been kinda reliable onto us,where he thinks someone is gonna helpp him at last. he seems not to put much effort at this moment and this is not the way man~and why are all these keep bothering me?i really felt pist when i was so worried with his courseworks and exams yet hez asking me for songs~i feel stupid on myself..why am i being overworried with him since he even dun bother bout it?im doing the additional work, am i?furthermore is non of my business so why shud i care so much with his matters?i shud have left these for his gf, and as a fren, spending time for tutoring and guiding is more than enough.sigh~im not sure whehther or not im thinking it correctly ,somehow i jus feel pist with them~im really pist..not one...but few...why are they doing this kinda things to us?we have feelings too...u guys are nothing much but just frens..thatz why i've been trying hard to forget bout wut has been happening recently...

i might not see it wit my eyes,but i could feel it with my senses...i can~wel, sometimes i've keep asking myself why am i being so suffer to remain the friendship and other ppl wil nv care bout it at all?why shud i bother bout it?jus bcos i wanna have frens since loneliness will actually kills me?perhaps im afraid to be left out from the gang and this makes me to have tortured myself much in order to adapt the culture of others and been alienated my personalities?i really dunno wut to do ..or isnt it the way to survive in the society?adoptable with wutz happening around and get use to it?somewhat, i got tired with all these..i wanna stop~how am i gonna do it?be firm by myself?pay no fuck to them?my DD told me to be selfish cos it's becoming one of the main principles in surviving yaself..wel, i realized that lately. ppl wil jus come to u if u noe something that they do not noe, u have the knowledge where they dont...sharing is caring..but i dun find trustworthy here, all i get is being fooled, being used~~why cant they jus do it themselves?i believe they can cos i did it too!come on...jus try to get rid from all those stupid reasons of I CAN'T and im sure u guys can do it.


other than this, i started to dislike someone..hez making me to feel that im annoying even i might not~somehow, he makes my intention to delete his contact at MSN,his number from my cell phone,not to talk to him at class, not to bother bout wut's happening to him...hez jus so suck til it hit my boiling point~

miserable life~

since ever the term break has begun,i knew that im so gonna recharge myself for beginning another new life rite after this period..i tot i would have struggled for nobody business for that week,despite i was a little by the boredom,perhaps it seems like i've found my path that im clear with wut shud i be doing for this coming semester..im jus trying hard to put myself on the right path..i hope that i'l be real determined in my edu..i dun wanna put much hope and high expectation onto him anymore..im getting really tiring from day to day...of seeing him every classes...everytime we play badminton...everytime we go for lunch...i dun hope to pay complete attention onto him,which is kinda out of my control whereby i'l notice wutever is happening around...tat feeling is jus dam shit..i really hope to get rid with all these in a peaceful way..where he would nv notice bout it yet we remain as frens~

somehow, i think i've improved much since i have no intention for him anymore,i'l somehow have the feeling of avoiding him whenever hez there or he might be there...i'l jus avoid any eye contact with him....the conclusion here is I DUN WANNA SEE HIM~~


wel,another thing tat brought up my anger is one of my frens..where we have been running closely as classmates and frens..however,sometimes i jus feel that he has been brought over to a certain limit where i dun really like it~how could he jus read my msg without my permisson..and i really hate it when i were in the conversation with someone and he came to interrupt by teasing me...i hate it seriously~i really hate it that he alwis have his piece of mind without thinking on wut others are thinking,i hate it when he feels that hez alwis right in everything..i hate it when he feels that hez knowledgeable than others...i hate it when hez too overconfidence with himself...i hate it when he takes things for granted...i hate it when he feels that he deserves the best of everything since he has paid for it...how would aries be compatible with leo?itz totally out of sound..they are best frens..but nothing more than that...i really hate it~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
who is he to me?how could he has such authority to control me?how would he say such thing to me?he has his piece of mind..so do i...i have mine tooo~im so gonna throw it to him one day...

another issue is,me and my fren went on a confrontation for our best fren...where this guy has been making use of her for his assignments..and fooling her feelings all this time..although i felt that i've being busybody since we are jus 3rd parties in here,somehow he'z been going over the boundary where i think we shud pay him a fuck and give a kick at his ass~hez so sucks..how could a guy be acting in such a way..being defensive on such thing even he has not make it clear ever...and he claimed that he did declared it to her...come on,we are not fools~frenship may includes sharing love and caring each other, but not using her money, her time and knowledge for the purpose of completing his courseworks~~furthermore a gentleman shudnt have take things for granted~and tatz why hez gone speechless when we asked him bout his motive of being good to her~hez jus extremely sucks among the guys and being such an embarrassment in the guys world~the point is he din even realised his wrong doings and keep thinking hez been doing the rite thing..this really brought up my anger again whereby i din expect him to say all this..i tot hez been placed in dilemmas and consequently he din give a dam to begin the relationship..but now he jus said he has no good feelings towards her...then wut were those memories and things that they've done?obviously itz more than being frens..wel,no matter how, i really hope that she'l get rid with all these real soon..i hope she'l cheer alwis~~

please forgive me~

the feelingn is funny...ridiculous...perhaps i've let go wutever i was supposed to ...shud i be feeling happie and grateful?heheh~

he jus told me that he has good feeling towards a gal who has recently been so closed with him....he oso told me how is he feeling towards her at this moment...and everything sounds like the gal likes him more than he does...and hez so thankful that i have act get to the point bout his prob of feeling such way..well,i didnt mean to analyse everything for him..jus tat i was telling my point of view and how am i gonna do if i were put into his shoe..

and wut he told me today was..something really sad...he's decided to hint to her slowly...oh god~~this is gonna be hurtful to her...seriously~i noe the feeling of being rejected by someone that u are so in loved with~~tatz gonna be sooooooo sad~~~~~~~~~~~~the feeling is really hurt~~~poor gal~i shudnt have said tat to him...i shudnt have pointed out the stupid idea bout nature in happiness...tiring in entertaining...am i gonna be the sinner here???please forgive me~~~please~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

happie birhtday DD~

my DD is gonna have her bday on 5th jan~~~of cos im happie cos shez happie with my present to her...but seriously im sad at the same time cos i cant be there with her for such meaningful moment~anyhow,stil the same..stay happie and healthy alwis..this is wut i wanna greet u~~of cos loads of love and kisses from me~~hahahahah~~~no matter wut...we'l be frens forever~and i'l wish u bday no matter wut happen k~

big bear hug~~~~~~love u DD~~~~~~

happie birthday ~~~~~~~~~toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ~~~~u~~~~

happie bday kai~

my very first blog for the year of 2008~~~

how i wish to get all my dreams come true...everything to be done and realised under my wish list..although it maybe possible but would be a tough task...jus hope for it~~~hehe~

wel, feeel released at this moment..surprisingly i felt so funny and even laughed non stop when he said tat..hahah~~i knew he was joking to me...if i were to the CSL in year 2007,i would have twist and turn wut he'd said..i would simply tot that he might have trying to hint something beside saying a jokes..but CSL has released something...the burden seems to be no longer in here..i felt funny when he said that...hahha~~thx to my gf who gives me support in doing everything..hahahha~of cos being a best fren would jus reply him..you are welcome~hahah~~

anyway..i hope i could have been to JB and celeb ya bday with u dude~~~i really have no idea wut to buy for u...the oni thing is to give me to u as a present..hahaha~~~i can do wutever for u
(jus one day oni)..cos u are my buddy~~~happie bday kai~

btw,my dear dear is goin to have her big day soon...this is so sad to me cos i cant be there to celeb wit her~how i wish everrthing is jus like wut i expected....but i noe although we are so far..yet we are so near ~~~heheh~~~and of cos i hope u'l wear the watch..and show if off..hahah~~~i noe the watch is jus a simple..but i do think itz nice and meaningful~~~noe wut?i was really happie and glad when u said the watch is nicely fitted on ya hand..i was so amazed..cos i tried on the sales person hand...and i intended to ask her to loosen it..and i din expect it to be so best fitted~~~~OMG~~that moment really makes me feel that we are so fated to be fren in my life~~i really feeel so blessed and pleased~~~