monday...

the next practise was on monday..i was kinda excited cos shap would be joining us for the practise since he had came back from dubai last saturday!so rich huh!this guy would easily melt u off with his smile...hez such a sweet guy!my practise began at 6pm and i was trying to reach there by 5.45pm to get my keyboard prepared..well,i just realised something,t.t. is the first person to reach there for every single practise..how could it be huh?!im act kinda impressed by his behaviour..and something is changing.the practise session was really enjoyable!i found that chemistry is on among the us and oso so to adrian and lynden!they are really chun guitarists but they still need me for the keyboard to backup their song..haha!i was really happy cos they had agreed with my settings and arrangements...the variations for the drum,the effects for the melody,the improvisasion..wow!2 hours were so fast to me n the conversations were to begin between us!we were both waiting for our parents to pick us..i was asking him for some ideas in my other arrangments where i need to play a mute guitar n a distortion guitar with a keyboard..and he shown me....itz a disney medley of 3 songs-colours of the wind,whole new world,and under the sea..haha!i cant imagine he played the melody for the songs..haha!so childish!later, he started to play my keyboard...."i play u a song.."..........i was melting when he played cos thatz my song k!..'looking to ya eyes,u'l see,wut u mean to me.....i just smacked him when told him when he asked me why.."i know u'l like this song"...wow!we did played together..i mean i played the chords and he played the melody...canon on D...'wherever u go,wutever u do,i'l be rite here waiting for u..'....and he oso played other songs which i dunno..he said truly korean songs can make me cry...serious?!i gotta go and he asked me a question that sounds perculiar to me.."are u using carol herbal essence?"..huh???i just told him that im using sunsilk..my sense of curiousity arosed n asked him which perfume is he using...he was trying to play around with the answer,asking me to guess...polo,issy,ck,gucci????i really have no idea bout it..."why so expensive!where got so expensive!"...how should i know....and he finally told me the answer:adidas!i should buy this n spray my room..hahaha!

friday...

i'd never blog for a couple of days..finally i finished my finals on last friday,that maybe the last day we seeing each other..why no huggings?i just couldnt concerntrate for the night,i couldnt get myself a rest just to think of wut to do next.i went to mirado in the afternoon,carrying my keyboard..the song 'sorry seems to be the hardest word' was playing in my mind!i went up n saw someone has already playing in the studio..who would it be to play the distortion guitar,t.t was inside..he just smiled to me when i opened the door..everything seems so perfect!i said hi to him n we talked!i just dun need that song anymore!he was dressed so formally with his student card hanging over the neck made me feel like asking a question:'where are u studying?' and the answer :'a level in GIS'...wow!international high school..that sounds great huh!i like his body smells...i mean his perfume..haha!sporting, manly ,strong n outstanding but yet innocent..i think the frangrance that hez using is suitable for sportsman...great!

sorry!

i was so dam pissed off with themla..i mean should be himlo!t.t..chicken hunter..should be chicken runner!!he has the idea..i knew it but why cant he just say it out?!i would totally support his idea rather than adrianz one.i was really angry with thatlo..we just had compromised last friday bout the song and i thought that he was supposed to be the organiser of tat song..who knows everything is just not under his control.why is shap not here?!?im sure he would have told adrian bout the idea!!but i was kinda over too coz i said hez a chicken!!am i bad!?i hope he dun understand but i could it from his face!!i think he should be dam angry with it...so question is:should i apologise to him?this is my first choice..i cant stand with it..i just feel like saying sorry to him but wut if he just dun understand??i dun feel like explaining every word in front of him!"thomas...sorry" would be tough enough to pour out from my mouth!my sis just ask me stand tough and dun bother bout it..well,i just feel that my heart kinda bitter n sour if i dun apologise to him!wut if he dun accept it?wut should i do then?i hope we can build up some chemistry between us and oso among the team members so that it wont be so suffering!i hope to enjoy the jaming session with them but it seems so tough!wut should i do??im feeling bad!i hope he can read my blog..or maybe accidentally read it so to let him knows that im not bad to him..itz just becoz of adrian!im so XXX him!!!i hope he knows it!sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha!

so dam frustratingla...my sis just hit me coz i hit my bro...stupid rite?just becoz that my bro is her bf!!!!!and we are sos....im so dam pissed offle!!!u should have read this...SHARON KONG WAI FUN!!!my bro oso dam bad k!he hit me coz i never bring unbrella...how bout ya luvly berry-berry huh!?!?!?stupid!!!im jealous...just kinda pissed off...but im angryla..haha~!
i saw my mehdi today!!!finally,i saw him with another man...so dam chun k!hez chun at all time!my heartbeat just seemed uncontrolable...haha!i was melting like hell k!so dam surprising!!!!!but he just cant recognise me anymore...but itz enough for me!!!
i just cant wait to meet t.t. and shap!!!i hope edd is there too..so greedy rite?!he said my name is nice!!!!!oh my god!this is the first time that someone is complimenting bout my name...i just cant waitla...but i just dunn wan disappointment to appear in my life and therefore i must not think bout it!!hope everything would be wut i want!!

untitled

so many things just happened in my life..everything is such a suprise to me!kow wut?i din know this gal n she suddenly approached me and asked me some questions..we tried to have a short conversation,i felt weird!she just asked bout my course,why do i stay,and even my hp no!!!wut should i do???no one could tell me at that time...my sis wasn't here to guide me!i was trying not to give her my hp no but she intended to gave me her hp no n asked me to miss called her so that my hp no would appeared in her hp!!!oh gosh!why am i so stupid???i should have learnt more from my sis!!!i hope shez 'ok' to me since shez just a gal!she told me that itz kinda tough for her to have frens here..she hardly to expand her social life since ever she has shifted from her TAR..well,i kinda impressed when she told me all this at the very begining of our frenship..i mean i knew her for bout not more than half an hour n she intended to tell me all this!!u might say im bad if im aware of her...but her situation just inspired me of the problems that i might have in the future..or u may say in 2006....i might be joining the sem2 class n know no one there..how am i gonna survive in this kinda situation???it may even be worse than mandy!!!

i just miss my frens so much since i will be seeing them for this..i mean until this friday,everyone would be missing one and another!we should appreciate this week!!!!i just cant wait to meet my chicken hunter n gentleman on this wednesday but i just hope time wont passes so fast coz therez only one week for us!!!stupid rite?meeting this two guys is always a surprise for me..maybe chicken hunter wont be coming?maybe gentleman won't be coming?maybe both of them are not coming?maybe my shap wont be a gentleman anymore?something that i expected:
they wont be on time,they may be leaving earlier,they will go for break,they might be bringing some gals in,they may be younger than me,they may even not coming!!wut should i do then?call them?quit?go home?practice with another team?dun bother bout it n request for another practice?

chicken hunter v.s. gentleman

finally i gotta meet up this guys,t.t. and sha.frankly,they are really awesome!i discovered so many things in just bout few hours!as usual i will go to mirado for my lesson but recently my classes just hanging to prepare for the year end concert,i went out from the washroom and saw shap. was there to settle his fees..well,hez gorgeous at all time..just a smile could melt me out!!!hez such a sweet guy where u will wish to see him always in ya life!i went up to the studio..where is sir lynden???i thought he should be preparing for his class since shap was stil down there..well,i just need him for a moment!todayz special: t.t was back!!!sitting at the corner with his guitar in his hand,chatting with his teacher!!!some one just told me that he would be back on 20th...wutz happening???i was taken aback by this guylo!hez really chun..was wut i thought at first..however he does. the way he dressed up shows that hez presentable with all his trendy stuff up..i just dislike the nails..too long for a guy but perfect for a guitarist!that was the first impression towards him..not until the moment we began our conversation..shap wasn't there...and thatz why the situation was so different!i just show them the song which my sis has infa to my hp..sorry guys if u think that im showing off...seriously im not!he just claimed that itz not the original one but who cares since shap n me like the limp bizkit version!!!i dun care!i want this one...and he just agreed that..hahaha!meanwhile shap was just walkin n i just show him the song since they asked me to think bout the setting all by myself..i know shap wont do this to me..haha!hez always the sweet guy,gentleman!t.t. just talked too much..somehow i just feel that he has some kinda mentally illness!!!hez childish...needs attention from others...arrogant in such a way where he thinks most of the gals in the world would have fall in luv with him..u might say that hez too confident or proud of himself...hez such a chicken hunter..haha!

okie...

oh my god!i just luv to see him playing those music instruments....wowow!hez amazing!!!he just simply shines in that way!i went to a guitar lesson which was my bro's class..i was just there to 'kacau' them..haha!hez name is joe..pro in bass guitar,electric guitar,drum...etc.i was melted when he demostrated to his students...perfect n clean!i mean the power chords,the way he strums,the way he pluck,something like unplugged,the song is kinda funky,live kit,rocky....i just luv it when my bro played that song in his car..but i never expected that he just plays like the original song or even better!!!thatz so dam great!i just want see him play again!!!can i just come to ya next lesson??i really wanna see him play!!!!!!!so dam chun n melting!!!
i saw edd today..i even talked to him!finally i realised that hez act not as handsome as i think!hez like a drug addict!!!!stupid rite?i just dun like the way he asked me..the way he asked just sounds like a spy!stupid man!!!!i dislike u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i prefer my t.t. and shapour...(i think so)they are so dam chun!!!!!i just cant wait to jam with them!!!!they are so dam chun k!i think they should be dam prolo since they are so 'high' gradesliao!i must be better than teacher eddie..i dun care!my mi2 must be better than final countdown!!!!!!!!we must be greater than them!

finally that two subjects have over..i mean my exams stil on but i just feel better now..haha!wut should i do then..hmm..i just dun feel like revising at this moment but just wondering how am i supposed to maintain the standard???im a very kiasu person n my user name just shows that!
recently i just found out that i act interested to 'didi'!!!!oh my god!i just cant accept it coz they are so young to me..something like younger than me...one year???i just like to see them or maybe ask them to be my brothers!i so desire to have brothers!!!younger or even elder!so many things had happened n i just cant blog them out coz i have no idea where to begin?

he is soooooo coool!i mean i just found it out yesterday!he was riding a motorbike...i know that hez a fans of rossi,motogp,yamaha team through his bike!125cc??i was wondering n his bike is dam cool!i just luv it!but it was dangerous coz he din put on his helmet!!!!

kar mun,i hope u are reading this..know wut?i woke up early in the morning just to msg u n ks..haha!stupid rite?thatz why i never reply coz i slept back..hah!ya exam is so dam early!!!!anyway,i really hope u guys have enough energy to pass through the examz!!aza aza fighting!

i was doing nothing yesterday nite..laying on the bed..listening to all my fav music!!ronan keating,lee hom,david tao,rain...etc..i just luv the way they present..their expression n vocal is just perfect!just remind me something that i used to been through with my frens,with u....i just miss u guys like crazy!cant wait to see u guys!i want to see u!!!!!i wanna know wutz happening in ya life!i wanna wutz wrong with u?i wanna know who do u have to treat me like that?how could u be sooooo cruel?how could u do that to me?dont u even know how would i feel?u never treat me like that before,wut makes u change?i was waiting for ya call everyday,every moment,hoping to hear that.."i was just kidding that day","sorry,i was in a bad mood"...etc
but nothing seems to happen in that way..i would not forget those words not until the day u tell me the truth!can u just pick up the phone n answer my call!?if not,then im gonna ask steve bout everything!u must have told him everything!

rewind

know wut?!i just felt so dam bad mood in a sudden..all the sad memories have come back to me!!!itz just hardly to put in sentences,where should i begin??my closer one should know bout it very well!why are my parents treating me like that?im 18 this year,but i just cant enjoy a teenager life like how my frens enjoy!i have no life at all,yet they think that im satisfy with wut they have give to me!i want my freedom!i deserve it!i need to be respected as how i respect them!i need my privacy!i want my life!i want everything to be in my way!im doing things that they like,doing wut they want me to do!i know myself very well!thatz why i enjoy being at mirado!at least i found myself there!why cant they just put a trust on me!?im not going to kill someone,or dating out there,or crubbing,or doing crimes..but i just want to be with my frens..thatz it!the invitation reminds me of how my dad used to treat my gang..miller,dustin,shawn,goran,gordon,matty,max....were the victims n so many of them where i just cant mention all!i just dun understand wutz act playing in my dadz mind!he just dun allow me to go out with my frens..not even one!n thatz why they sent me to a girl school zit?i just want to go out with them..thatz all!but he just dun trust me..hez tooo protective but i just cant stand that!i need my freedom!should i request for a lawyer..haha!im mature enough to take care of myself!i want to expose to the outside without any help from my family..but they just treat me like a kid!im an adult,not a kid anymore!i've been an obedient gal for 18 years..
sometimes,i just feel like doing something special to release my tension..something like vandalism,gangterism,taking pil estacy,crubbing,car racing..etc. my life is soooo 'dry' n im gonna die one day with those so call 'memory' with me to another world!i just like to see lengchai but i wont have a bf for sure at this moment..but they just dun trust me!i just wanna enjoy my life with my gang!why are they treating me like this!?is there any way to pursue them?should i just do something that let them feel how i feel?they used to have a wild n joyful teenage lives,why cant i have it too?they have been through everything n feel that wut is good n bad to me..but i also want to experience that?itz so unfair!i want to experience it by myself,not telling me from ya mouth!i need to talk to u kah hou!i need u here to comfort me!i know i can only go through it with u here...i cant stand anymore!why is everyone treating me like that?im not a happy-going person..im just escaping the problems,im not as tough as u think,i just dun wanna show to others bout my predicaments,nobody knows me..even the one that stay in the same room as me!i dun like the way she is!we are sooo different though we came from the same stomach!i rather talked to my dogs than talking to her!and everytime u are here for me..but u seems to be one of them now!

bad bad day

i just cant get myself down that thing..the one that i mentioned in my previous blog..i stil feel so bad n down!u would never know if u have never come across this situation..even worst than breaking up with bf..being apart with him is something dam suffering in my life..n i have been suffer for a few years n now he intended not to come back!!!the worst thing is stil those words..which stil playing in my mind!i just have to make myself numb or tire so that i just wont simply think bout those things!i just dun understand why am i crying for such a person?!?!?the tears are just dripping in such a way that i just hardly control!anyway,thanx to my siss..they really cheer me up especially three of u..im so touched when sharon just ask akun not to mention bout his name anymore...i felt better when someone just share it..only at that moment!
there are so many songs that recall all my memories n feelings!just let me mention n u know how i feel now!those are the songs that we like:
1. ai de jiu shi ni
2. wei yi
3. ni bu zai
4. chi ke, ni xin le xing qi shui
5. ai hen jian dan
6. gong juan zi juan
7. more than that
8. how did i fall in luv with u
9. itz the sweetest luv
10.forever luv
remember we always sing 'ai de jiu shi ni' in eric's car with ya guitar!?thatz the best ever thing in our lives k!thatz so dam chun!

exhausted!!!

why do u wanna treat me in such a way!?i just hardly understand!?!?!?i just have no idea wut has happened in ya life!?why u dun wannna share with me!?i know that u r reading this..that z why im blogging this out!know wut?i cried throughout the whole night...i just cant concerntrate on my studies n my finalz is just bout 48 hours more to go!why should u treat me like that?why did u say such thing that made me feel so harsh!i know it was my fault to stop u by saying 'stop bullshitting out there!'...guess wut!?i just cant control my tears from dripping!!!!!why did u have to say those words!?!?"u r so inmature...","u cant forever rely on me...","im not coming back...i just dun wanna come back...","dun ever be so kiddy...","u just dun need me in ya life anymore...there are so many 'guys' around u...","I DO NOT KNOW U AT ALL"!!!!everything u said were stil fresh n ever lasting in my mind!everything is coming back in my mind n would be stalled in my memory forever!im listening ya fav song..'ai de jiu shi ni'...know wut ?i just infa to my phone so that i can hear it often...and this is enough for me..the feelings are all back!i got headache just bcoz of u!im not feeling frustrated or upset or even unhappy..but im just feel like dying!!!those words are stil playing in my mind every moment...n i just feel like crying every moment!u never treat like this b4..something happen zit?

cant wait!!!

i just cant wait to see my luvly fren...ks,km,qw,gordon,hanji,miller,dustin.....and many of them....i just cant wait to watch movie with them after my...no should be our finals alll over....and oso my luvly kohs...kah hou,eric,june!i just miss the way we crab..the way we see chicks n handsome guysla!i wanna watch chicken little with all of u guys!and oso my present bros n sis...i wanna watch harry potter with u guys!just cant wait for that moment...but dunno whether i can be with u guys or not?!?!?!im so sad bout that!i just cant wait to play war game with u sis!i wanna play!!!!!itz so dam excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i want outdoor one k!i wanna experience it!but i just have no money to pay for it...haha!talking trash rite?!can i just play my stupid abc thingy!?kah hou!!!!!!!!!!!!did u read my recent posts???i bet should be no rite...since u never comment on my blog for thousands of yearsliao!are busy with ya job or assignment???winter holiday has began rite?then u shouldnt be so busy wut?so are u coming back n play my stupid abc with me!?i just miss u like crazy!?!?!?i wanna tell u so many things!!!!i wanna share my entire life with u!my thoughts,my feelings,my excitement,my sadness,i just want u to be with me...nothing much!!!!!i wanna cryliao!i need ya shoulder..only yours that makes me feel comfortable!!!!!!i want ula!my koh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!why u never reply me at all!?why u dunn want me to add u at friendster???u seems to be somebody else!!!i'l be a good good gal..i know u dun like me to be rough,i'l change k!i promise!i'l do wut ever that u like as long as u r here with me!!!please pick up the phone whenever i call u!know wut?!?!?none of my lcci fren is studying with me next year!!!!!!!!!!kah hou,see..so sad rite?i'l be alone..im so worry that i just cant click with them!wut should i do then?!?!?!kah hou please come back..at least i'l feel better with u in my life!!!!so can u please come back!!!!????i'l appreciate so much!!!

ooooo....

i saw the guy that i like today in the coll!i was so dam excited coz it has been a thousands of i have never been talking to my frens as in face to face..and today was the first day to begin my battle after one week rest at home.energetic n dynamic are my slogan in life but this guy really makes me recharged!hez sooooo dam chun!no only well looking ,i bet he must be a very nice n friendly guy even i dunno him..at this moment!he dyed his hair n his current hair style is exactly like ryan cabrera..my beloved singer!i was feeling high throughout the day!
a msg to me from my sis really made me felt excited again..some one that i like is a foreigner..hez act a hong kong guy!!!!!no wonder his features are just so perfect!have u heard bout edison chen?just let ya mind to function for a moment ,imagine a mixture of edison chen n ryan cabrera????that should be super cool rite?!

1117

wut so special bout this three digits??itz just a normal number plate tat we usually see on da road.however this meant a lot to me..hahha!recently,i just see so many number plates that are so similar to this one...1117,117,7111,1711,1171........that really reminds me of something,which makes me just smile at that moment..haha!and everyone around me just feel that im kinda crazy!

final fantasy

final exams are just round the corner,thatz why i have never update my blog for thousand years.time has just passed in such a way where yesterday was just like my first day to coll!i stil remember it was wednesday and they had english class,i joined the class after it had began for two weeks,everything was brand new to me!i mis my high school frens at that time..everything is still clear in my mind,we had group discussion bout some tv programmes,and we just started to have topics to talk bout from that on..my group members were sharon,jenn, n rachel.they just told me that i had shown my true colour at the very first day-talkactive!some of them just thought that im a banana...haha!that should be sharon k!we had lunch together with aakun,kiko,yean,sze ming,maggie,rae,jenn,rachel.....i was not used to it at first coz i just found myself hardly to click with them...sooner or later,we get to know each other better,so let me talk bout this people....should be my luvly classmates:
1. sharon- shez considered as my sis,the closest n the dearest fren after i left my high school, quiet,gentle,mature,clever were the first impression..but i just discovered sooo many things after have knew her for some time..just cant put in sentences..the friendship is like more than a year..she knows wut plays in my mind without me saying out!we enjoyed ourselves at anytime...she makes me feel like im studying with my gangs in high school....
2. jenn- happy-easy-going person,this gal was so influenced by me after i knew her for some time..she used to like japanese looking type of guys but i just made her to adore to the orang putih n hairy mature men...haha!thanx to me k!shez a shopping queen with only cosmetic,seventeen,blogs,fashion,shopping in her mind!but sometime u may oso find something funny from her..i know who u admire k!we'l help u since u are studying here next year.well,just come n yum cha with me often then u would have a chance to see him..haha!
3. lai kun(aakun)- i dun know her well at first coz i seldom talk to her gang but for now i just love her so much as a fren duh!shez sooo nice,sporting,funny,understanding,chun!i feel comfortable to talk to her,just nice to pour out everything to her!shez%2