Saturday, June 27, 2009

hez so sweet

i'd never forget that~~~~

2 persons at one cinema hall~~OMG~this was truly my first ever time in my life to watch a movie wit oni me and him in the cinema..wit no other ppl~~not that we booked the hall, but there werent any ppl purchasing the tickets than us~~haha~~2 silly fella sitting there for almost 2 hours for such a 'GREAT' movie~~GOSH~~that wasnt an eng movie, and the effects are totally ruining out of the mood~~it was SUCKS, im sorry to apply that word....somehow, i ENJOYED the movie..hahahha~~the hugs and the kisses were great~kakakaka~i love it~~anyhow, i realised something that hez actually quite.....wow...wut a LEO guy!

guess wut??i was really happie and touched when he suggested to buy me a something...i mean i nv expected that to happen,and itz meaningful to me it was jus a little gift though~somehow, it does mean a lot to me, since i do think the chain has somehow meant something...i really think that hez sooooooooo sweet~~perhaps that chain is something to remind me as well as to set a signal that im not single and available anymore! no matter wutz the purpose behind of it, i feel happie and sweet to wear it!! anyhow, i dun hope i'l become a silly person to feel happie bout these, or even he jus dun meant a thing for it, yet im being so touched bout it~~i would feel totally foolish if im jus making it by myself~i do hope im doing the right thing~~

i alwis been inquiring myself that wut am i doing all this while in my life...nothing is foreseeable and we duno wutz gonna happen in the future~even we have deeply in love with each other, who noes we might be apart one day..kaka~~guarantee ??no such thing in love relationship i believe~~we have so much great time now, and i couldnt picture wutz gonna happen after this month..or even after my study...funnily i feel fearful whenever thinking bout it~from the first day of the decision that making up a relationship wit him, i 've alwis prepare myself of losing him one day... cos i feel that it might happen one day and i i noe i couldnt take it when it does~thus, havin such a preparation could regenerate myself better and faster...IM IN FEAR cos i love him~ T.T

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

cute little young man

''do u love me??"

wowow, i've got startled when he pointed out a question to me in a sudden..haha~
"love me??" wow~~i nv expect that he'd question me in this way cos it happens to be gal questioning the guy, wowo~i alwis tot that i'l be the one to ask him this before he asks me, but seemed like my prediction has been mistaken..haha ~~
somehow, i've learned the words to be replied, " i adore you"...KEKEKEKEKEK~~wowo, such a nice phrase from the movie of transformer-revenge of the fallen. GOSH~it's totally an awesome masterpiece~it would rate it as the greatest movie of the year!!!i totally love the movie~~~

wel, another day of date...another upsetting story, i was so mad and couldnt find any solution to cool myself down , but to release on him~~~i was crazy tat time, wanting to punch someone or kick, perhaps i would give him a slap if i could, but im just not tat kinda person who would give him a big tight slap on his face cos itz totally rude and insane~~where goes my manners then???but for sure i was insanely strugglinn wit my disatisfaction, decided to tel him wut and why were i being so mad bout~~

OMG~i've alwis been worying that the similar thing might happen on us as wut have happened to my best fren..they fought and argued over some issues and she sms me that the guy has got her a pressie and apologized..wel, is he to apologise for getting his gf back or to knowing and realised the mistakes or problems from the arguement?is he really saying wut he meaning and doing wut he saying?most terrifying thing would be the feeling, perhaps it would not be as wut at the beginning or previous one, but she could have caught up to be in frustration..wut a sad case dude~~~wel , when something unpleasant happens to be repeating seems to be a bad thing cos another party could fed up wit it ~~therefore, better not to challenge my patience cos im totally not an expert in tat field~~~

anyway, we'd gone for a bowling..GOSH~~i knew it and i've tried to absorb it since last time. uufortunately, i totally not into that,but wut to do since he likes it ^^ EMBARRASING~~~OMG~~~i would nv forget it for the rest of my life~~i wouldnt believe that it happened in front of him~~GOD~~~i wouldnt have such huge response if i were with my buddies..but why did it happen???kakaka~~

wel,something happened jus now, i was scared and surprised that he've got into such respond when i told him that a guy was requesting me for showing up at MSN thru webcam~~i was nervous when he said " im so pissed off now.." OMG~~i tried to explain that entire case but he seemed to have switched on his FIRE mode..kaka~~hez such a funny and cute little young man!i was wondering wut would he do if he noes this guy...i could sense that hez totally pissing off thru the conversations..wow...wut a GUY~~

Monday, June 22, 2009

do u love me?

finally my blogspot has returned to norm...i could blog again ~

many things happened lately, yet have not been updating the blog..should be lotz to talk bout ^^
my man...why wouldnt be my bf? it gives me a strong feeling of protection and security when mentioning my bf as my man~i alwis tot that man is stronger than boy in sense of physical and mental. somehow, it brings no conclusion to my prediction since the statement is sujective~~i began to realise the difference of boy and man after having time togather wit him. thus, i started another new belief that personality and charisma of the individual that differentiate him with the others...and the 100% of shouldnt be going is comparison~itz so unfair to compare him with others, i shouldnt and ought to treasure and cherish him indeed~i've seen my frens been having relationship probs lately that makes me und that i should appreciate him and the relationship cos being togather isnt an easy thing for 2 persons that comes togather from so many differentiations~

when i gotta noe that my frens have been arguing for days and quarelling over some little matters, it somehow makes me think that why couldnt they appreciate the time of being togather???why do they love arguing over little matters???of cos some might be serious matters that end up breaking up ~perhaps me and him even have no time for arguementss since we have less time being togather, and this has makes me to appreciate every moment being togather with him~~sometimes i do like this way, not seeing each other often really helps me to miss him so madly~~~

however, something happened last few days. i rmb tat i was quite late for our date and i really felt so bad for it cos I WAS SO LATE~~when on my way to mid valley, i felt really worried that he'l get mad cos i knew that waiting for a person is boring~~furthermore, for a guy to wait for a gal seems sound, yet it really needs patience~i felt really pleased that he din show his temper when i reach~~and he even brought me for a herbal tea~~GOSH~~i started to feel that ' this guy is caring huh'.
but something seems to have destroyed it when he was late~~i was totally angry at tat time~~i couldnt think of wut to say when he was late~i didnt noe how to talk to him when he reached cos i tot that his reasons were lame and ridiculous~~after all, i realised how someone feels when he or she to have waited so long for a person, the anxiety, the patience, i'd trying so hard to keep on my temper, sadly i had shown him my temper at last~~i couldnt stand to take it as if nothing has happened. he should have known my attitudes well, im not a patient person, and letting me to have waited long time, sitting alone at the bus stand, that should be my first time, fortunately my psp was there as accompaniment. sooner or later, i felt that bringing out it as a serious matter could have spoilt the mood for both of us, why should i do it????thus, i'd chosen to put it aside..isnt it fair that he had waited for me for no comment and i should and could do the same thing for him too???^^.....i alwis believe to have communication to overcome the probs and barriers in reaching compromise between 2 persons in a relationship, which i think itz true~

wel, i stil rmb at the end of the day , he said me some words, i felt really sweet when he said it in front of me at the LRT when i was about to reach my station~~perhaps he could have forgotten wut he had said to me, but i really love tat moment~~i hope to hug him and never let go at tat time~~hez totally got my heart tat time~i really hope to kiss him hardly tat time but there was a crowd there...im alwis the ordinary gal that loves my man to say i love you to me at the right time~u are lovely darling~

guess wut?i feel myself to have take him as an habit in my life...i got used to having him wit me in my life....i'l miss him when im doing my own things. perhaps something jus reminds me of him at some times...OMG~~i think i've really fallen in love with him seriously ..GOSH~~itz dangerous man~many inquiries come to my mind..wut if hez not thinking that way?wut if im jus some kinda float to him?wut if ........GOSH~~i starting to fear when seeing my frens having probs with their partners...i dare not to think much bout whether or not to last long even to future, and i shouldnt have tot of it since it drives me even into fear!!!!

somehow, i really feel not to letting go, i wanna stay and carry on wit this guy ^^ DO U LOVE ME?

Monday, June 15, 2009

decision making~~

first time ever to have such time consumption in the decision making progress...

one thing i realised , that life would nv happened to gain perfection, there must something to be forgone in order for the existence or maintenance of the another one.. is this necessary to happen all the time in every circumstances?hahah..i've alwis wonder can it be the application of 2 alternatives at the same time??? can i have both at the same times???kaka... it'l then be perfect that someone could have all the his lovers at the same times without bothering who should be the final choice and be fairly treated among the lovers~~it seems unavoidable in deciding a choice... by considering so many factors that bring bout to the decision that we're gonna make... not oni ourselves, but to the ppl around, trying hard, gaining the balance bound... it seems a tough task to me when comes to decision making since i've nv or perhaps seldom to decide what i wan...or i may say i do not actually have the rights to say " i wan it tat way" in certain things even i noe wut i wan~~perhaps of the fear and loose in guts, courage and bravery in bringing wut my idea into action...as the conclusion, im not a wise person cos i couldnt even bring out to present my own ideas , and what's more bout manipulation and successful??kaka... bullshits~

Monday, June 08, 2009

wut kinda frens i have?

gosh...someone jus pissed me off today~

why would it happen everytime??wut tat person would be me?come on..wutz with tat response?shouldnt i be bothered so much bout it??im way too foolish to be taking so importantly on the frenship...i mean i really take her as my best fren...and i seriously couldnt acccpt wut they had told me earlier..i'd got stunned for some while when they told me that wut she had done wit her...OMG~~itz kinda unbelieveable cos i tot i noe her so welll and she nv hide anythinn from me, even bout some personal issues~~i have no right to interfere, i noe , for sure, somehow it takes away the trust on her, that shez such as wonderful gal that i've nv ever met b4, im totally saluted to her strong hold on her concept in life, she stands firm on herself with so much external influences...frankly im soooo proud of her tat she could be soooo firm on her belief~~~ after all, the truth tells me that i've mistaken all this time, im real disappointed with the frenship. i couldnt believe it and accept it, but i have to without choices. unfortunately , it makes me feel suspiscious and hardly put on trust on wut she'l be telling me in the future... of cos she deserves second chance, but it seems like im judgeable towards the level of creditability of the stories that shez telling me.... of i may say 'i dun wanna fuck u anymore..'. haha ~
furthoremore, i'l respect u, but i do need ya respect at the same time~I HATE PPL THAT PAY NO RESPECT TO OTHERS~~and why wouldnt i bother to respect even u nv do the same thing to me ???i would listen to u ..i would be there for u...cos i noe itz the minimum respect when someone finds u and shares with u~but i found some ppl doesnt even seems to care that u are actually talking to them...this is real sad case~

anyway, another case is i have a guy fren... erm, pretty emo person he is, been trying to claim that he's the similar attitude and perspectives with me, trying to create the fact that 'we are from the mars, and other ppl come from venus'..kakak ~wel, i wouldnt have mind if i really meet a true fren like him, but....erm, i do think itz kinda over sometimes. i mean perhaps yuan is my best fren and we noe the boundary clearly, and we are comfortable wit the topics....but this guy may hav gone too far sometimes... im perhaps speechless with him~
he has sixth sense~he could foresee my future~he could predict wutz gonna happen next in his frens lives~WTH~~~GOSH~wutz the implication behind of all this stories????i should have live a happie and cheerful life by myself?? or i should have no bother bout any other things except my study??omggg~~~when he told me that, i felt somehow scared by him...his attitudes~~i told yuan today bout him , and he agreed with me that such an emo person he is~~haha...give me 5 yuan~~he finds u too~~kekekekkee....at least someone encounter the similar prob as i do ^^

last but not least, played dota with my dearie and his cousin..wel, it was my very first time to played on LAN with other players..im really nervous and anxious~GOSH~wutz gonna happen to my teamates with my noob skills..haha~~and i realised i did no team work..kaka~i jus played as i like...hahaha~~~TEAM SPIRIT failed~~haahahahhaha~~GOSH~~~how i wish we could nv play dota oni ..but wut i alwis been hoping to play togather with my bf.........sadly he doesnt noe any..kaka~forget bout it csl^^

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

dun force me to take the last move~

i feel kinda miserable...

i tot i found someone who is so lovely but it seems to be a mistake in the end~~i really tot of having a long term relationship with him and it seems to be another big mistake again~~there things happening that makes me feel i would not be his choice, perhaps just a fling i would say to him. i tot i could fall for him so seriously that i would not care about other things...i've tried so hard to overcome the age prob~~i've really tried my best to not take that in account cos i noe that shouldnt be a matter of it. although i could feel it sometimes, i dun get to be bothered cos i do not hope that this would be a reason to ruin our relationship~

somehow, there are other factors are coming at the same time that holds me back from falling into him~i feeel really bad and upset wit wutz goin on with us~i tot i could enjoy a really nice and sweet relationship with him~i really try to treasure him and appreciate him~~seems like this is jus merely of my perspective and there are differences in our thoughts which i found out to be pretty pressure for me to adapt~~whenever i tot things are going along so well, it came again the question that makes me feel miserable... i mean im confused and lost bout wut am i to him???
perhaps i takes thing too seriously, or i shouldnt have take him so seriously into life at the first place~~~why are u asking me like this???i really dun like it... or I HATE IT when u seems to urge me for an answer~~~cos ya questions makes me to question myself how much do i love u...i really feel pressure~~although it could be nothing to u .. but i'l take it seriously~~having sex without love is meaningless.... but now the case that makes me in predicament... cos u are my bf...and i noe i should or would do it cos u are my bf~but isnt it the point that i should be concerning? and when this happens to be many times, i'l started to feel fed up, and slowly got piss off~~~i dun hope to ruin it ....and i DUN HOPE TO SAY IT OUT~dun force me to take the last move~