"tt is leaving mext month...."

supposingly would be nice match.....but...my mood...

we went for some sport in the morning..we had fun though we played in a group of 3 v.s. 2!not basketball,itz badminton!!kakaka!well,my soul had gone somewhere else cos my mind was functioning on some other stuffs!!i couldn;t concerntrate...but my fren keep asking me to run,jump,move...and u'l feel better!perhaps he could picture my mood at that moment!then we played single match!!i got burst out everything...i mean i even wanna cry out when i smashed the shuttlecock...i even sang when i was playing the game..kakak!after than,i went to tale a bath at my frenz house..wel,we seemed to have not much topics to talk bout...and sadly we gotta do nothing for almost 4 hours!!wut can we do is nothing at all!!!can u imagine being togather with someone who has no topics with u for a few hours?tatz kinda killing man!

then i went to mirado to meet my teacher up since im helping her for the concert stuffs!!seriously i did think that he would be here,but at that moment i really hope not to see him...i dun wanna got into trouble!i didnt mean to see him frankly!well,i was in my studio alone since my teacher had gone out..someone openned the door without knocking it..i was kinda shocked with it..itz lynden!"hi my dear..."haha...please stop copying me!then he asked me to play out 'sway' in a version of bossanova!im a keyboardist k,of cos i'l try out..."tt is leaving next month!"lynden told me.."so..."i replied...i could tell u that my mood got totally changed..but therez nothing i can do rite?so i jus act normal....but the bad thing was tt jus passed by when we talked bout all this..he might have think that imt he one who asked lynden bout all this!i dun wanna be misunderstood,especially him!perhaps i've been thinking too much...things might be as fine as they look rite?

all sucks!

i always rmb the first time i saw him, the very first time i knew bout this guy,the very first time i'd got the chance to 'approach' him,to have a better n clearer picture of him,all kept in my mind, the moment where he was in a rush for his lesson, where he was sweating like a 'soup chick'!he was wearing a black-coloured-button-up shirt and a long pant.his back was totally wet up, his shirt got entirely soaked up!however,hez really cute!"how old is this guy?"...i'd been inquiring myself.he seemed to look kinda mature, with his dressings and his face,not forgotten his body shape as well!all this features made hi look older than his age!for me,this guy is really gorgeous and seemed to be the one and only well-looking guy here!there,i started to fall in love with him,partly i was attracted to his appealing appearance!so happedn, i gotta see him everytime my lesson finished, thatz really great kz!usually, he would waited for his mom to pick him up home.well,many things could happened during this time!!kakakak!i mean he coul practised his pieces rite?gotcha!hez a skillful and talented young player.i really adored to him!hez my ideal guy!!since then,i really fallen in love with him deeply!!hez such a perfect guy!BUT,he sounds to come from a wealthy family...i din think bout this at that moment cos i really love this guy!what i can do is jus have a view of him!sometimes, i really wanna approach him,but wutz the purpose at the first place?i have no topics to talk with him!what can i do with this?sometimes,i'd been too desperate but therez nothing i can do!at that time,i'd changed my time table ,where my lessons were arranged to wednesday.wellm this was the time i saw teacher eddy!hez skillful and great in playing his guitar,somehow, tt would remained at his position!no oe could actually take over his plcae!not even sharpur!kakakaka!it'd been a year for me not seeing him,i thought the feelings might have jus gone in this way...anyhow,it still existing in my soul!i became more desperate n crazy bout him!things got worsen...although i knew itz impossible but i couldn't control my feelings!!my mind would never stop flashing hin pictures!it should have considered as some kinda torture!i tried to shift to someother guys,but it never worked out!finally,i'd got the opportunity to get closer to him,this was a chance for me to know him,to build up a frenship with him,but things seemed to happen in another way!i was asked to back up for their song for the concert.i knew we are impossible,since the song performed d told me...BINGO!OST of 'mission impossible II'.at first,i was really tempting and excited since i'd got the chnace to perform with him and also the sweetest guy of all-sharpur!but the first ipression was kinda annoying!i mean i never expected thing ouwld happened in that way...during the practice sections,everything ghot worsen due to lack of communications,discussion,chemistry,corporation...etc.frankly,i got faded up woth the team and felt like not playing anymore!as time passed on, we started to know each other,the chemistry had been generating,joy time seemed happening!seriously i did have fun time with them!the result was we'd got the applause and cheers for our performance!this cae to have worries for me!would there have any conversations among us anymore?would this be the one and only chance for me?i din put a dare to figure it out!the answer would surely be harsh!i kept telling myself to be whoever i am..and things are just happening as in wut i expected!soehow,God had given me at least a chance to perform with him throughout my entire life,perhaps i shouldn't have demanded so much!sometimes,i feel annoyed with myself,why do i like him so much ?i feel thatz a sin for me to fall in love with this guy!i feel fooled and stupid to like him where he might not even considered me as a fren!i must have stop this,stop myself,my feelings!

i wan no one but him!!!

i got lotz to post up here...

when shud i begin?friday?yea...i was kinda lazy to post on that day but since it has really made my soul gone somewhere,i would really wanna share with u guys here...hmmm...my music school is gonna have a concert again in august..wel,of cos i would hope to perform with them..as in the ppl that i wish to...perhaps he'l at the first place!well,i thought of it many times but didnt have the guts to ask him out..i mean im really serious in thinking bout it if i've got rejected..wut shud i do then?how would i feel then?itz a small case but i got really disappointed with though!!frankly i dun intend to perform without him!!i mean i really hope that we can make it since it might be the last and only time!!!how could he not be here??why has he to do with china?why is he leaving to there?why has it be china?i was really impressed when i heard him playing 'smoke in the water'...itz pretty cool for a guy to play this song on the elect guitar!!!!and he did it so so so well!!which will truely drive u crazy man!!hez awesome!!!no one ever has it!wut can i do rite?lynden kept asking me to ask sharpur...but there is a difference!!sharpur is a nice and sweet guy..somehow....haih!!!one more thing...why is he borned to be in a extemely wealthy family??im really pissed off!!!!'sierramas'....sucks!why cant he jus be a normal guy?perhaps i had made a mistake in my life...where i shouldnt have fall in love with him!itz all my fault!im being stupid and silly to love this kinda guy!haih......

saturday 22nd july 2006!!!!
happie birthday to my dear and luvly karmun!!!i really enjoyed the day!!i felt really closed to u guys!at first i thought we might not have topics to talk bout...wel,everything happened to be the opposite way!i love u guys very much!although frenship do not depends on how long do we know each other..somehow,we really have the chemistry!!it cant be replaced by any gang cos we are really closed to one and another!!the feelings are existing all the time!i love the moment we chill out!i love to have u guys there...to talk bout..i mean the feelings are really unique!u guys are the top-listed!!!as i would name it as 'sei thong'!!nothing would break the frenship..no matter wut happen...we are always togather!!we'l care for one and another!!and i would like to say here,qw,im really sorry that u were not feeling well and yet itz ya celebration too!!i hope u'l get well soon!i was kinda worried when she seemed to cry out cos there was some prob with her cousin...i felt really sorry for that cos i hope she'l enjoy it but things seemed to be kinda pressure on her!i dun hope to have a bad memory for her birthday celebration!!itz important for them since itz the breaking point!!!yea..km,we must have a long chat one day k!and i hope u guys would like the prez,the place,the atmosphere,and oso the cake!!!kaka!

monday morning....
sorry sharon for not helping u to reload...but taiwan noodles house really got sold out all the RM10 prepaid card liao....hahhaa!!!u r soooo unlucky for the day!!kakakakaka!anyway,i hope u've got everything settled!!

orlandoz blooming!

i read my frens' blogs and something inspired me to blog out..

i act jus read few of them,my sis,my bro,andrew....and everyone seems to have their probs to solve in life!family probs,love probs,frenship probs...etc keeps occuring in life...and everyone does face it in life,even once in a life time rite?perhaps some ppl might not wan this to happen...for my point of view,i think itz some kinda experience in life...wel,we shud have get the chance to feel the sense of failure by ouself before achieving success,where i think it would porbably be really meaningful in this way!

back to my life again,i got this fren where he got fallen in love with a guy so deeply,where hez willing to do wutever jus to maintain the relationship!!somehow,i would think itz pretty silly to leave a person by yaself which dun love u!!i wan him,i wan everything but not his property!!it turns to be meaningless to have him without his heart rite?i rather choose to get rid from it and begin a new life!wel,i know itz easy to say out but pretty tough to do it in life!i knew it!but u wont know if u've never give it a try rite?

yayay...i watched pirates of the caribbean:the dead man's chest!!!orlando bloom is blooming!!!!im dead in seeing him cos hez truely awesome!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!and another thing is i would like to thank him for searching the lyrics and mp3 for me...i appreciate it!!thank you bro!!!!i love that song...heheh!

u make me wanna fall in love....

i got those feelings again...

letz begin with my daily rountine....as usual would go to coll in the morning since i feel realy boring to stay at home...at least i could meet up with my gang..tim n pat were there walking towards me...we planned to go cyber cafe before our class starts cos we really have to relax after a week of rushing for cws!BUT,i promised eric that i would help him out with his last cw-MYOB!we had planned to meet up at 9.30am...wel,i was so impatient to wait for him and the time had past...i tend to go cyber cafe with andrew....and met up my gang there!!i was angry when eric called me up...i even rejected his phone calls...u might say that im so cruel but i'd gave him a few phone calls at first where he din pick up the phone!!despite,i did something funny,i past on my hp to andrew when eric called me!!but then i was busy playing my game at tat moment!hey guys,u shud be wondering why i've gone to all this places rite??but itz fun to play online game with ya gang!!wel,andrew said eric was kinda curious bout why was he holding and answering my phone...andrew even told him to call him instead of calling me cos i seemed to be too angry bout him!!hahahah...thatz really fun!!i noe itz tooo bad but who cares rite?wel,we went to meet up someone..i mean me and andrew then eric msg me that he was in library..wel,i did wen to see him but that time i saw him laying on the table...seemed to be tiring and sick....he was listening to his mp3 player,i was jus putting my finger behind his back n he was pretty sensitive to it!!wel,we went to the pc lab...n i got really happie cos i got everything done!!!i thought of teaching him at first...but it seemed that i dun have the patient in my heart...therefore,i jus got the whole cw done for him!!hahah....thatz my style!frankly,i was kinda impressed by myself cos i got it done!!!and itz correct!!!after that we both and andrew went to have a lunch!!!i started to feel guilty at that moment....hmmm...perhaps i've done something bad to him...but i told myself not to think bout that anymore...later pat came n joined us!!after all,we got our classes on...before we went to our classrooms,eric promised to treat me ice-cream...me and andrew were walking behind...as usual,we got lotz to chat...we are really closed to each other...but not that kind k!but i din get on my ice -cream cos my stomach have no space for it!in the class,everything seemed to be normal...of cos i would love to seek for handsome guys!!i've searched for lee hom's pics...and other korean guys!!!they are really awesome!!!!beautiful!!!!i really melted off in the lab!!!!!!!!!class finished early then i went off with my gang...he really treated me the ice-cream and oso a coke for my feng yun!!!act i din mean to have it...i dun meant to teach him in such a way as the rewards!!!i helped him cos i really treat him as my fren!!!!i dun hope that he'l think in this way!!!!however,i cant control wut he thinks rite???

i went to mirado for pratise section...wel,i was so dam bored cos keep pratising the same thing...i never thought of seeing this guy anymore cos i thought he has stopped for his guitar lesson....moreover hez gonna further his studies in UK!!!so wut for shud i think of this guy rite???i thought i would have get him rid of my life!!!i thought i really got faded up since he has treated me like this...i mean not even a 'hi'!!!!!!who knows i saw him!!i really saw him!!!!!he said hi to me before i could recognise him!!i mean i din have the preparation of seeing him!!!i was in a mess!!!!!i got really taken aback with it!!i nearly turned to be speechless at that moment!!he was asking me where is the fat man,where he was refering to lyden...haha!!!i jus told him that he wasnt here...wel...i really have no idea bout it!!!and my teacher jus shouted out that "thomas!!shiaw lee wans u!!!"omg!!!how am i suppoed to face him?i mean i dun wan this to be spread k!!!he might have avoided me of like this rite???but one thing i could tell u here....hez truly awesome!!!all my feelings are back !!!my mind got blank out until now!!!i couldnt play out my exam pieces at all!!!!i couldnt concerntrate!!hez the only person which would drive me crazy!!!no one has act influence me so much til i couldnt concerntrate on my music!!!!!he's got tougher and tanned now!!!nothing could act describe him out!!!i thought barry is really nice cos i saw him in the morning...where he's got his chest build up...but no one has come to my mind when i saw tt!!no more eddie!no more leo!no more eric!no more barry!!!!!no one except tt!!and i teared off when i was in my own studio...when playing my pieces...i kept asking my self not to think of him anymore!!i kept blaming myself!!!we are really impossible...in fact,i dun wanna things to get serious!!i cant like this guy....itz a sin to like him...i mean i shudnt have let myself to get crzy bout him!!!

u make me wanna lala.......

rushing for courseworks!!!!!

im feeling kinda lazy to continue my work,since i got it kinda difficult to get the info...perhaps this is the time for me to recharge!!wowow!!FIFA Finale is gonna happen....which team do u support?i do support Italy...somehow,terry is jus too scary and unpredictable!!!anyhow,i'l be happie if any of the teams win since i do love them very much !

im listening to lee hom's latest album...wel,hez jus simply shines...i love his style!!!i love this song...sounds simple yet meaningful!his vocal could bring out the best of the songs..haha!!though hez not alto or soprano...but itz perfect in my point of view!

yaya..not to be forgotten,i act have something to say here..hmmm...i dunno whether the feeling is true or not...i got my heart beating when i see them!!i mean itz jus a feeling...it doesnt mean that i love them rite?perhaps jus some kinda good feelings..i did mentioned in my previous post,i thought i would have forgotten him,who knows i got the feeling whenever meeting him up..i feel really sorry for andrew...and im trying to control myself not to think bout him anymore...but sometimes the pic jus flash in my mind!i'l try my best....while another one is someone in my gang!!!!i must stop it!!!!!how could i like my bros!!???the answer shud be NO...ABSOLUTELY NO!!!i cant do this...i dun wanna loss a fren!!wel,i felt so weird when da day we got our results out n hugged each other...though for me itz jus a hug..but for my information,hez not my kind,as in open-minded...i was really impressed with him!furthermore,i was kinda worried when he said hez gonna leave here n study somewhere..but he was saying to improve his english by taking courses out there!!stupid me...and i was really sad before he told me that!!how come i got such feeling?nonono!!!not true!!
bout eddie??hahahaha....yea!!!i've alwiz got myself pump into this guy whenever i see him!!hahah....nono!!i dun love him...jus impressed by his playing...fabulous guitarist!

fooled again!

im feeling really happie today!!

i knew itz the day for us to get our result...i thought i was supposed to be feeling really nervous bout it,instead,i was kinda calm in the morning...not until the morning where all the students went to claim their result slips!i was kinda panic at that moment since most of my frens got their transcripts!!how bout me then?i forgotten to bring my IC and also student card...haha!!i was kinda lazy to go all the way to the 3rd floor...therefore,i jus took it after my class finished!i was really touched that all my frens act waited for me to get my result slip!!thanks to my gang...i was really happie with them!itz my turn now!!!!!i gave him my IC and searched for my name as well!!OMG!!!i really extrememly nervous k!!"awak ni dahsyat betul!"...why is he saying this?what the hell does he mean!?i couldn't wait to take my slip anymore!!!thank GOD!!!im kinda satisfied with my result...wel,itz jus sem1 but im kinda happie...hahaha!!i waited two of my frens to get their reults too!!gogo kai!!!u got really good result!!im really happie for u!!and also my ayuen!!!u guys rockz!!!!

after all my classes had finished at 4pm,i went for a drink with my frens,eric,andrew and also one of ericz fren,allison....wel,my first impression towards this guy was really bad!!im kinda dislikes him!!he seems to be kinda rude and i do think that he complaint bout andrew and me though we were jus in front of him!!how could he do this?anyway,i felt so uncomfortable to be there...i shouldnt have gone for the drink!!!my day seems to have spoilt in such a way!!i really wanted to leave or jus walk to coll!!i din intend to stay any longer...not a moment!somehow,i jus cant behave rude though he treatz us like this!i kept telling myself that im not like him..i wont do something rude to others!however,i got myself mad when we went to buy a pack of cigarette and jus smoked in front of us!!!it was really sucks!!!we din talk much to each other since he seems to be so protective towards himself!!hez sooooo unfriendly!!can u imagine he din intend to introduce himself or shake hands not until i asked him!!!by the way,is he a guy!?he dun even know the simple manner in socializing with other ppl!
andrew and i got released when both of them had left!!we talked and laughed...and things seem to have recovered!anyhow,i got a really weird and bad feeling bout eric!!hez too tricky to put on a trust to him!!i dislike him!he always makes me feel bad!!sometimes, i really dun wanna bother bout him...i mean as a fren or bro!!!but he seems to be so alienated by the classmates...perhaps,this is only wut i think rite?i wanna help him!!i mean i really wanna help my fren!!frankly,i really treat him as my fren...but how has he treat me now?i jus feel like being fooled by him!!i hate this feeling!!!im feeling so stupid!!

i saw alan!

i saw him!!!i mean i saw this really gorgeous guy in the city!!can u believe it!!!

anyway,if u dun believe me and now u have to cos i really saw this guy in the city!!i had my break time with my gang at McD...wel,on the way back to my coll...i was really happie cos i did enjoyed my day though i have many courseworks on,and im kinda rushing for the courseworks since i have to pass all up by 13 of july!however,this thing seemed to have charged my battery up!!!i thought i was jus dreaming since none of my frens said itz him....somehow,i could recognised him well since i've like him when he first shot at the 'rejoice shampoo' advertisement where he acted as a postman and got attracted to a gal who uses the shampoo...wel,i think that was something 6 to 7 years ago...and yet i stil i like him so much!!lately,he had released a movie named Gubra...
back to my story,i saw him in a black shirt and wore a jeans which made him looks really manly!!!he was on the phone at that moment...and what i wanted to do was to ask him to have a snapshot!!!but it seems kinda weird for me to do that...furthermore im in a rush for my class!!!now,i feel kinda regretful to have lost the chance to have at least a photo with him!!!hez awesome!!!!!!i never thought of seeing him in the street!!!and hez really tall!!!!and tough as well!!!which makes u wanna hug him!!!!!!!!how can a guy be so perfect!!hez financial controller which i gotta to know it through an article and of not mistaken hez 27 years old this year!!!can u imagine??wel,im trying my best to get his pic post here so that u guys would have a better and clearer pic bout this gorgeous guy!!!by the way,hez name is alan yuan!

temptation!

something really nice happened ytd!!!wel,u might think thatz something usual in ya life...but then it seems to be happie for me....

i was kinda bad for the day at first since i really no idea bout how to face my gang...recently i found out that there are act some kinda probs existing among us...hmmm....shud be nothing much...but jus feel kinda tough to click with them!!anyway,i hope everything will be fine soon!

back to my day!!!my day was kinda bored at first...then i jus met up with my frens!!!it comes naturally to me that we have unfinish topics in life..i love talking with him....itz so comfortable!!!hey,if u are reading here...please dun feel proud of yaself k!!!hahahah!!!then as usual i went to mirado for lesson....hmmmm...i guess i would have a chance to see eddie...but i din really bother bout it at first cos my mind din thought of that....but i was really impressed when i turned back!!!!i din noe that he was standing behind me when i was talking to my teacher!!!!i was dam shocked at that moment!!!!!how could he be so secure?!?!?!?!?!?!the gap was really small...the feeling was really tempting!!my heartbeat increased!!!!!!