the feeling is similarly as taking a roller coaster...
of cos i'l prefer taking a ride on ferris wheel,togather with the one i love..how i wish this would happen to me one day!!!i waiting for sure...hahaa!
it has been a long time for me not to see him, and i tot da feeling towards him would have jus disappeared so suddenly since i've been adore to my fren in my campus!!somehow, i saw him in the morning..my luvely 'soya bean'..haha!i miss seeing him dressing in formal clothing..i was first adored to him,where i was so fascinated by him...though hez not handsome,and i really meant it..haha!!but i jus feel tat this guy is irresistable!!kekeke!
he really made my day,i was really happie and tempted and i knew tat im gonna start a good day..somehow,i would have stayed for a longer and keep an eye on him..but i have to sacrifice for another person,which i promised to help him up..i would have no comment on it since i volunteered myself..
wel,sometimes thing happened as out of our control..and of cos i knew itz not her fault,no one is to be blamed in this case..i und wut she meant..and i knew itz all for our good and oso to encourage us to learn from experience as to gain higher maturity level!frankly i appreciate tat she had spent her time to listen to me and oso the suggestions..although there might be something we cant do now,but wutz the point of getting everything done reluctantly?somehow, i felt tat disappointed when i was supposed to tell him the result of it..though i wouldnt say tat we have done much work onto it..at least we've done something in order to bring out the plan,somehow, it failed!!haha!but im happie tat we've been thru all this,and for sure i'l be there to support him no matter wut!!yoyo!as a fren,as the assistant,as the member of the club,i wouldnt wan to see the worst side to happen,i wouldnt wan to see the corruption..of cos those pressures would not stop us from surrending...itz nothing much for us to fear bout..nothing will dillute the power of music!!!yoyo!!!!!!!!!!!!anyway, i was really touched when he was consulting ourselves on the phone..i act feel contented when he really shares his opinions..his ideas with me..im feeling happie bout it!
btw,we wore the same colour T-shirts whcih were brown,same denim long pants, and oso same type of sports shoes...jus tat his brand is adidas and mine is nike!!wow!!though it doesnt mean a thing to him,but it does to me!i mean...i nv expect to be like this..everyting goes by feelings..i felt like wearing tat shirt instead of my new shirt..i felt like wearing tat pant instead of the old one...and i felt like wearing tat shoes instead of matching the usual one..and all is 'feelings' are confusing myself!!argh!
Monday, July 30, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
no guts,no expectation..
why am i doing all this...
hez bz with his proposal..wel,i hope im as free as i think..sadly this is not happening to me..i have few cw to rush for..and yet i seems to be in gesture...without any pressures on my assignments..perhaps i dun give a dare to think bout it....escaping!!
anyway,i keep asking myself,is this the right way of loving someone?is this considered as love?or am i being too foolish in doing such things?he would not noe how i feel even i have done so much things for him though?but isnt it wut i wan,without him noticing?frankly i personally have no idea on wut am i doing,and whether im doing the right thing or not..somehow,i jus wana do something for him...although he might not appreciate all this,but at least i''ve try my very best for him!!i dun expect any return,or perhaps wut i hope is considered as a return!i jus wanna be there when he needs help,i wanna share his pressures..i wanna help him so tat he wont be facing all the problems by himself..although the person beside is not me..i wouldnt say tat i dun mind or im not disappointed...but i jus wanna be there when he needs help!!!!!!!!
at this point,i really have no guts to imagine wutz gonna happen next...as wut i alwis say.."enjoy and appreciate wut i have now..instead of worrying the future whcih is unknown"....
hez bz with his proposal..wel,i hope im as free as i think..sadly this is not happening to me..i have few cw to rush for..and yet i seems to be in gesture...without any pressures on my assignments..perhaps i dun give a dare to think bout it....escaping!!
anyway,i keep asking myself,is this the right way of loving someone?is this considered as love?or am i being too foolish in doing such things?he would not noe how i feel even i have done so much things for him though?but isnt it wut i wan,without him noticing?frankly i personally have no idea on wut am i doing,and whether im doing the right thing or not..somehow,i jus wana do something for him...although he might not appreciate all this,but at least i''ve try my very best for him!!i dun expect any return,or perhaps wut i hope is considered as a return!i jus wanna be there when he needs help,i wanna share his pressures..i wanna help him so tat he wont be facing all the problems by himself..although the person beside is not me..i wouldnt say tat i dun mind or im not disappointed...but i jus wanna be there when he needs help!!!!!!!!
at this point,i really have no guts to imagine wutz gonna happen next...as wut i alwis say.."enjoy and appreciate wut i have now..instead of worrying the future whcih is unknown"....
Thursday, July 26, 2007
syok sendiri!!
wow!!another success had brought to life!!yeah!
hurt me?i think im trying to hurt myself as though it doesnt mean anything.i feel that im acting like a libran,concerning on the balance of everything,keeping myself aware to wut im not supposed to do and wut my emotion has lead to do..which is in the dilemma of falling and not fallin in to a guy!
i was pretty impressed wit wut we have done so far for the club,it was the first time ever for me to feel the determination of moving towards the goal..and of cos the team spirit...although our club is nothing much special or any stronger as compared to others, at least we have the passion in organising the functions,even the events wouldnt have been so ideally done without our patient, coorporation, understanding,and of cos most importantly the chemistry among each of us!i really appreciate the fun and joys tat we'd been togather as this would bring me a meaningful memory for my higher level education life in the campus!at least therez something for me to rewind when i begin with 'those were the days'..i really hope tat the chemistry and dynamic would not fade..and even the interaction of every single of us would be stronger than ever!
anything issue,we sang for the day!!i mean we really sang for the staff day!!i felt really stress in the morning cos i din see him to appear anywhere..not until i was sitting in front of the pc in the lab,where he was outside there,looks kinda anxious..perhaps he was late..and i believe therez a reason to it!anyway,i was pissed off with the internet connection cos it was slow!dam slow!i realised how retarded was my day goin to be..no progression on my audit cw,but wasting my time to wait for the practice and performance!luckily he was on time to call me cos everything seemed to have bored me..of cos i would turn my mood up when approached to music instruments!hehe!somehow, i was really worried that he told me he took 3 tablets to cure his gastric prob!wow!how i wish i could do something for him at tat moment..food?drinks?anything i can help?it all started off as usual..i love his voice!finally i gotta listened to the real vocal without warming up..it sounds raw yet sentimental!i like it!itz nice!i really meant it!of cos there much more to go,and i was really happy tat he sang my fav song wit me!'how do i live'..finally was presented to the audiences..but im sorry to say tat i laughed when he was singing the song!kekeke!i was really happie with the result of it..and once again,the chemistry!
btw,i really adore wut kelvin said when he was walking behind of us.."wut are u guys talking,the couple in front..the 2 couple in front,wut are u guys talking ar?....."
i suddenly realised that i would rmb everything that happen between us...and this is wut i considered to care about a person.even a mighty thing would caught my attention to it!
syok sendiri!!hehehehhe!
hurt me?i think im trying to hurt myself as though it doesnt mean anything.i feel that im acting like a libran,concerning on the balance of everything,keeping myself aware to wut im not supposed to do and wut my emotion has lead to do..which is in the dilemma of falling and not fallin in to a guy!
i was pretty impressed wit wut we have done so far for the club,it was the first time ever for me to feel the determination of moving towards the goal..and of cos the team spirit...although our club is nothing much special or any stronger as compared to others, at least we have the passion in organising the functions,even the events wouldnt have been so ideally done without our patient, coorporation, understanding,and of cos most importantly the chemistry among each of us!i really appreciate the fun and joys tat we'd been togather as this would bring me a meaningful memory for my higher level education life in the campus!at least therez something for me to rewind when i begin with 'those were the days'..i really hope tat the chemistry and dynamic would not fade..and even the interaction of every single of us would be stronger than ever!
anything issue,we sang for the day!!i mean we really sang for the staff day!!i felt really stress in the morning cos i din see him to appear anywhere..not until i was sitting in front of the pc in the lab,where he was outside there,looks kinda anxious..perhaps he was late..and i believe therez a reason to it!anyway,i was pissed off with the internet connection cos it was slow!dam slow!i realised how retarded was my day goin to be..no progression on my audit cw,but wasting my time to wait for the practice and performance!luckily he was on time to call me cos everything seemed to have bored me..of cos i would turn my mood up when approached to music instruments!hehe!somehow, i was really worried that he told me he took 3 tablets to cure his gastric prob!wow!how i wish i could do something for him at tat moment..food?drinks?anything i can help?it all started off as usual..i love his voice!finally i gotta listened to the real vocal without warming up..it sounds raw yet sentimental!i like it!itz nice!i really meant it!of cos there much more to go,and i was really happy tat he sang my fav song wit me!'how do i live'..finally was presented to the audiences..but im sorry to say tat i laughed when he was singing the song!kekeke!i was really happie with the result of it..and once again,the chemistry!
btw,i really adore wut kelvin said when he was walking behind of us.."wut are u guys talking,the couple in front..the 2 couple in front,wut are u guys talking ar?....."
i suddenly realised that i would rmb everything that happen between us...and this is wut i considered to care about a person.even a mighty thing would caught my attention to it!
syok sendiri!!hehehehhe!
Sunday, July 22, 2007
please hurt me!
have u ever feel like something is running up and down in ya nerves?feel like screaming?uncomfortable?
this has been happening to me recently when i see someone, i was pretty fine at first,i tried to keep myself calm,controlling my emotions as i'l not misund...i tried so hard and now it seems like everything is not working as how i've expected!i tot i should have healed up since i got the worst part of my life last year..and all this brought me to frustration and the feeling has ended up with shifted to someone else..everything seemed to be on the right path,sweet memory of admiring my lovely soya bean...everything was jus in a good mood..
however, my life has beginning to repeat the same mistake,which is wut i've been prevennting from happening..perhaps i've been thinking too much,im jus being over towards anything that happened...perhaps wut she said was really true..we have nothing in common,but oni in music!tatz y i've appreciate him as a teammate or someone who can discuss or share opinion on music..nothing much!
furthermore, i really hope that wut hez doing now would hurt me deeply so that i could get rid of this asap!please hurt me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this has been happening to me recently when i see someone, i was pretty fine at first,i tried to keep myself calm,controlling my emotions as i'l not misund...i tried so hard and now it seems like everything is not working as how i've expected!i tot i should have healed up since i got the worst part of my life last year..and all this brought me to frustration and the feeling has ended up with shifted to someone else..everything seemed to be on the right path,sweet memory of admiring my lovely soya bean...everything was jus in a good mood..
however, my life has beginning to repeat the same mistake,which is wut i've been prevennting from happening..perhaps i've been thinking too much,im jus being over towards anything that happened...perhaps wut she said was really true..we have nothing in common,but oni in music!tatz y i've appreciate him as a teammate or someone who can discuss or share opinion on music..nothing much!
furthermore, i really hope that wut hez doing now would hurt me deeply so that i could get rid of this asap!please hurt me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
how do i live...
"how do i live"..sung by lee ann rimes..the soundtrack of the movie title 'con air'..
i like this song,i think itz meaningful as to the movie too..i had once been fall in love with this song cos it describes how i feel towards a guy that played a pretty important in my life..he influenced me much..however,i stil think that this guy is so chun til i keep comparing him to other guys..hehe!
anyway,it has been a fully occupied for the week,i feel really tiring though,but the joy is worth for me to bring my keyboard from my room all the way to my campus,taking up the risk of letting my keyboard stay nights and nights at the student council room, reaching campus every morning to get the boof set up nicely,even had destroyed some of the campus properties...hahah!but i really enjoyed the club week..but i want it to be end up as soon as possible..on the other hand,im afraid that i have no chance to see him more often as in how we are seeing each other everyday...isint it stupid?
i tot everything will be fine..on the path..as how it was really happened..but everything seemed to be too perfect,which is out of my expectation..where i've been predicated something unpleasant like disputes would happen..somehow,itz jus so perfect!!!!!i would say itz an amaze to music club,for first time ever to have recruited many new members,to have such a chemistry among the old members,to have carried out everything in success,to have such a nice memory..i think itz a good start..that everyone of us has being so committed to the club,which i feel pretty proud of it..i have no regrets that i've requested patrick to insert our club into the list!itz awesome!!!
wel, the worst thing that i've encountered is i might be having a high possibility of repeating the same old mistake..which i have jus realised..i kept persuading myself to make things simple,but recently my brain is stucked like nobody business..i couldnt control the way i've thinking of him...perhaps,many songs remind me of him..damn it!i dun expect anything to happen,as long as the chemistry is there,we are frens..tatz wut i wish to have at all time!i dun expect him to be 'mine'..and i dun have the right to do tat..i have nothing to feel envy...perhaps itz jus nothing..jus tat i've been making things into complexity!
i like this song,i think itz meaningful as to the movie too..i had once been fall in love with this song cos it describes how i feel towards a guy that played a pretty important in my life..he influenced me much..however,i stil think that this guy is so chun til i keep comparing him to other guys..hehe!
anyway,it has been a fully occupied for the week,i feel really tiring though,but the joy is worth for me to bring my keyboard from my room all the way to my campus,taking up the risk of letting my keyboard stay nights and nights at the student council room, reaching campus every morning to get the boof set up nicely,even had destroyed some of the campus properties...hahah!but i really enjoyed the club week..but i want it to be end up as soon as possible..on the other hand,im afraid that i have no chance to see him more often as in how we are seeing each other everyday...isint it stupid?
i tot everything will be fine..on the path..as how it was really happened..but everything seemed to be too perfect,which is out of my expectation..where i've been predicated something unpleasant like disputes would happen..somehow,itz jus so perfect!!!!!i would say itz an amaze to music club,for first time ever to have recruited many new members,to have such a chemistry among the old members,to have carried out everything in success,to have such a nice memory..i think itz a good start..that everyone of us has being so committed to the club,which i feel pretty proud of it..i have no regrets that i've requested patrick to insert our club into the list!itz awesome!!!
wel, the worst thing that i've encountered is i might be having a high possibility of repeating the same old mistake..which i have jus realised..i kept persuading myself to make things simple,but recently my brain is stucked like nobody business..i couldnt control the way i've thinking of him...perhaps,many songs remind me of him..damn it!i dun expect anything to happen,as long as the chemistry is there,we are frens..tatz wut i wish to have at all time!i dun expect him to be 'mine'..and i dun have the right to do tat..i have nothing to feel envy...perhaps itz jus nothing..jus tat i've been making things into complexity!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
