so dam boring!!!!dun feel like revising but exam is approaching d!!!wut should i dun??suddenly feel like going some where else...new york city?how bout fluorida?i mis u guys!i wanna see u guys...especially my luvly,well looking bro,steve!i wonder how is this man doing rite now...is doing modelling?blue eyes,tanned skin,tall adorable with his build up body...hez gorgeous!but only if hez ya bro!itz kinda bad n unsecure to hav some1 gorgeous in ya life...i mean as life partner...if only u r at that stage...but i feel contented to hav a fren that most of the gals will rise their jealousy when we walk together!dun u think itz fun...hahhaa!perhaps im kinda crazy or u may say im abnormal!most of the gals will hav a strange look at me when i walked with him!how can a handsome walking with this childish gal!?'it sounds stupid but i hav been through this cases..hahah!itz fun to hold hands n just shop...but nothing more than friendship!or u can say 'brothers'!i hope he'l come back again at the end of the year!!!

itz monday morning...feel kinda boring,sitting at the lab..doing nothing...just blogging here..bull shitting..haha!i feel my life so dry!so boring!i need something exciting(excluding sex!)i feel like seeing my gang..kah hou,eric,jim,hanji,killer...i really mis u guysla!!!!no1 plays basketball with me now...n soccer!!!!!!!stil remember we always play baseball...that game is really nicela!i just mis those days!i wanna hav my gang in my life again...i hope u guys r reading my blog now..no matter where u r!
i mis u hou!long time never talk to this guy d..hez a shy guy,but many gals r adore to him b his talent!how u wish we study together gether at becklee huh!it should dam nice rite?!i wanna pour out everything to u...u r the only person that allows me to do that..

everything just happened in a sudden..wutz gonna be in the next?i really hav no idea bout it..'life is a rollercoaster' by ronan keating..haha!itz nice to hav ur gang together n do something stupid n ridiculous!i mis those days with my gang!we really do wutever we feel like doing at that moment!no sense of embarrassing..with the mind of 'just do it'!well,my maturity has changed my personalities..which i think so..n my mind is changing every second!dun u think itz kinda terrible?!i feel the same!happy friday..with my gang together..term break is always a prob for me to shop!no parkings!traffic jam!but i stil enjoy myself bcoz of u guys!eventhough itz just a few hours..
they bro n sis just broke up next day!everything was so good b4 this..but my sis just told me that she did something bad..she told me a few days ago,n i wasnt serious to it..'she wont do that rite?'but i felt strange when my bro called me!'he shouldnt be calling in the weekend rite?there must b something wrong..em..'i always been hoping every1 in world would hav live a happy n simple life n people would say im too 'kiddy-minded'!i really feel bad coz i understand my sis very well,n i oso support my bro at the same time!i know shez escaping him n im supporting him to go after her!am i bad!?i know their dilemmas..but nothing can be done to it..i know how she feels to him,wut she wants,her dilemmas,n she feels hurt too!hez a nice guy,he feels that shez his MS RITE,i know he loves her more than any other guys..(higher than mountain,deeper than sea by ferhad..hahah)..there r so many things that we should appreciate or enjoy..family,friends,pets,idols,..well,itz fun to hav some1 to luv u or mayb admire u...but i even feel more contented to luv some1 coz u r sharing n giving ya luv to a person which is not related to u!some1 u found in the world n u r giving 'u' to that person!1 in a million*n!itz all fated..i believe it!dont u?!

yow!

two days never blog d..i started to get bored with it..haha!listening to my fav guy singing..nice vocal..nice body!never know bout him til i watched 'full house'..im so mad bout him now!!i just posted a quiz at bebo.com..i really hope my frenz will answer all of them..i wanna know who knows me well..
i went to mirado this afternoon..itz music school..boring!i thought i could have a chance to see eddie..but who knows hez not there..perhaps hez in holiday!!he looks cool when he plays guitar!!this blog is so boring coz i hav nothing to write bout!!!itz like a daily diary!!nothing special happen in life..i mean just today..duh!!!no more mehdi,ming yow......
guess wut??yesterday was a bad day for the people around me...my sis just trying to break up with my bro..me n my sis just saw another bro hav dating with his secret gf!!we probably had destroyed their date..haha!unexpected things would always be something exciting for a boring day..but i hope those surprises would be something good in lives!happiness n excitement r so welcome!i know wut my sis wants in her life..n im so sad with my bro on the other hand!i hope my sis would solve her dilemma..but i dun hope that my bro would be hurt...perhaps time would bring everything back as usual!but how long would it take!?wut would happen during that period huh?!no1 should be hurt or take anything for granted....

finally....

i feel dam high today!!!!!!as usual i went to coll n just checked up my friendster coz my pc cant do it...thatz not the point..some1 has not approve me yet!!!oh gosh!whoz that??i was dam panic k!!!should be himla...rite?who knows his not there d...hahaha!i mean that he d approved me...hhaha!i wanna scream k!i really need to hug some1..i wanna share my happiness with my frens..at least some1 k!but then i dunno wut to write to him!!!!!!im the1 who added him first n how can i write to him???he might not reply me rite?im in confused!!!i dunno wut to do???

go for the rite1!

hey bro..this blog is specially for u!dun u feel contented with all ya crushes?i just talked to this man this afternoon n i found out something bout 'men'!now i finally understand how a man feels when a gal ask him out for a date..itz age a prob for man?im confused with that!most of the men i know will prefer to hav a younger gf..but not too young?!so choosy rite?men dun like gals..they r interested into women..or maybe they r scare to chuck later coz gals r more naive..perhaps men would always prefer to hav some1 who can be their life partner..but for me..this is really scary..wooo!perhaps gals cant fulfill wut men want..he used to reject me by saying "i dun wanna be in jailed coz u r under age..","im a normal man n i wanna hav a normal sex life.."..etc.izit a must??i'l support u to go ahead coz i hope she wont be like me..i experienced the sadness n disappoinment b4 n i hope she dun feel the way i felt..it needs time to recover!but as ya 'bro'..think properly b4 u take 'action'..haha!shez young..she can do wutever she wants!itz just part of her growing..n i bet u oso done something like her during ya teenage life rite?as ya fren i really dun hope to see u chuck in the futurelo..i know this thing might not happen to u guys..but who knows wutz gonna happen in the future rite?guess wut?marriage really scary for gals..haha!lifez short n u hav to make ya meanigful n enjoyable!try2 find some1 that u hav that 'feeling'..itz something like..'itz u'..'i want u to be mine'..haha!aza aza fighting!!guess wut?we hav the same amount of crushes..haha!3 rite?

itz friday!!is he gonna log in?but i know he should b quite free coz he just went on9 in the afternoon..chatting with sharon..well,i wont be jealous bout that coz shez my xx!i saw his pics..oh gosh!he puts on some much weight!!!he looks 'tougher'!sharon said that hez FAT!but hez stil adorable to me..hahah!i dun care bout this..i just want him to approve me!he gives me a sense of security..i really hope to hav his bear hug!warm n secure!i felt so nice n comfortable when i saw his pics this afternoon which i was feeling so down be4 that!he rules my life k!this guy is so chun!sharon..stop saying him fat k..i promise i'l not talk bad bout joonlo!

itz enough k!

im feeling so sad k!i wanna cry!!!not bcoz of ming yow,mehdi,matthew..i feel so stupid!i hav a really bad friendship with my fren!i feel sucks k!i duno wutz wrong with me..perhaps i had done something bad to her..wut makes her thinks like that huh?!im so sick with that k!i dun want this anymore!i dun wanna say or anwer anything!i just feel so tire!my frens never treat me like that b4 n i feel so XXX!i dunno whether itz my fault to make her feel like that..but i really wanna say thatz my style!i know that i always follow my feeling...im kiasu..i admit k!im not gonna stand this anymore!itz enough!i hav to apologize if u r hurt by wut i had said or done to u!thatz all i wanna talk bout it!i feel myself kinda innocent n im so frustrated by this!i want u guys to be with me now...or maybe just for a moment..i wanna hav a bear hug from all of u!i finally realised that coll life is not something like high school..they r sophisicated n nothing is 'true'!battles are happening everyday n i got fade up with that!it would be nice to hav some1 nice as ya fren..but u'l suffer when they try to show their true colour!itz so scary!i really hav 'nothing to comment bout the true colour'!it reflects how realistic is the society n onez has to be so XXX to survive in the 'battle'!'friendsforever' cant be used in the society..it'l only happen in dramas,story books....but not in reality!

why not???

i feel so disappointed!!i cant wait d!i know he should be very busy with his work rite...should i just cancel his name?i feel so weird..im so worried that he dun wanna approve me as his fren!!! wut should i do then??how m i going to accept that??im so dam kiasu!!i feel like crying...haih!
well,im listening to this 'forever love' again..no matter wut happen...this song will always calm me down!but at the same time this song oso reminds me of something special in my life...

tomorrow is friday n i hope hez gonna log in to friendster so that he'l know therez some1 who is actually waiting for his approval!i saw his acc..he log in last friday!is he gonna log in tomorrow?is he gonna log in every friday?stupid rite?but wut to do?i think u might oso be like me if u fancy some1..haha!
sorry phoebs coz i forgotten to ask sharon bout ya title!!i promise to mention u in my blog rite?well,i'l stick to that promise..haha!shez a pretty n out-going blur queen!im sorry but i hav to say that!if anybody interested in knowing this gal..well,of course i can introduce her to u!but just for ya info,some1 has stolen her heart!shez not available for this moment(i think so)

forever love..have u heard b4 of this song?itz sung by lee hom..a very talented n well looking abc k!i was listening to this song..for me itz a very meaningful song if u understand the lyrics very well!i know kah sim should have heard bout it!im tearing!!wutz wrong with me?i thought i should have brought him out of my life..wutz happening?itz all ya fault raaj!!!i could have enjoy my afternoon with my bs..n now i suddenly felt so bad!ya case reminds me of my own1!matthew again..i just feel myself so stupid that i actually liked a man who is 35...haha!i liked him for almost 2 years!i have a meaningful memory with him..he made me feels happy,sad,excited,nervous,shy..etc.he oso makes me cried for many times..not bcoz he scolded me..but he just treat me too good!why is he so stupid n blur!?i d confessed my feeling to him for zillion times n he would just ended up by saying other stupid things!2003:'im 33 n u r 16,u r stil a kid..u r not my cup of tea k!'.fine!i d knew it..but i never gave up n stil confessed to him whenever i saw him ...haha!2004:'im 34 n u r only 17,u r not feminine,im a man k n u r stil a gal...'.i really felt so bad with it!2005:'guess wut?i got a gf..n shez really chun..blahblah..'i got so frustrated..i cried in front of him!but this thing lasted for a period n i got recovered from it..n this time somethinng really ridiculuos happened in my life!'can we be together?'stop bull shitting k!u rejected me..n u asked me such a stupid question!!guess wut?i would have say YES if u intended to ask me earlier..mayb a hour earlier b4 i hav changed my mind!i feel so sorry n wasted whenever he ask me this question..i just cant accept him coz my heart has gone to some1..haha!however,i hope u know that i'l stil luv u..no matter wut,i really hope to be there for u!i luv u dude!

staying or leaving?

matthew is back to life again!i'd got bored with him..well,i luv him but i just dun want anything to change at this time..itz impossible k!we cant be together..for sure!getting high n excited was something 'used to be' n i hope that hez reading this..but i dun dare to let him know my title..hahah!stupid rite?stay or just leave?as a closer1..of course i want him to stay..but i think he would have a better future in u.s. n thatz why i dun dare to say anything which makes him consider that i want him to stay here!i mis out to introduce this man..35 year-old,stil single,malaysian..others as p&c!i really hope he'l stay coz frankly i feel kinda fun to 'hang up the phone'..haha!itz fun to fancy a guy who is so many years older than yourself!he was 17 when my mom brought me to this world!try to figure outla!can i just ask him to stay?i actually have thought if this question for a trillion times but i dun have the guts to ask him!not even via sms!itz kinda expensive to call him or sms him coz hez in u.s. now!anyway,i wanna tell him that i really luv u as my fren!our 'relationship' is actually more than frens,more than couples,more than relatives..something like BROTHERS!!!!!i luv u bro!of course i'l b the younger1 k!

have chun man for lunch!

i got the opportunity to have lunch together!i really appreciate it!we went to mcds..mehdi,my frens n me.i felt so insulted along the way from my coll to mcds!not bcoz of his attitude or the conversation..my height is always the pro!he is so tall..i just reach his shoulder k!we looks like uncle n neice..'uncle is bringing u to mcds for lunch after ya class k!'i just look like a kid whenever i stand beside him!hez pic is getting clearer in my mind whenever i talk bout him!i just dun wanna mis him in my life..i really want him to be here..so that i can talk to him!i really like this man..im adore to his personalities!i like him n i dun really cares bout his family background..like whether hez married..single or even 'double'!i just hope to talk to him coz he really makes other feels better..itz so nice n comfortable to be with this man!

feelings

i just feel like telling others bout this man..so far i hav never met a man like him b4..he has all the good things..i mean those things that i like..tall,spectacled,wide chest,sideburns,hairy..etc.it just hardly to mention eveything here bcoz hez such a perfect man!i just cant compare him with my frenz coz hez so different..just gorgous!i saw him in my coll,n i thought hez a lect here..well,hez taking DICS course..some computing course!normally gals would always attracted to well looking guys..so do i!(hez considered chun in my point of viewlo!)i tried to get a chance to know him..getting his info from my frens,admin staff..finally i got his hp no!!!cant u believe that he gave it to a person that he actually did not know!this guy is really sporting!27 year-old,microsoft engineer,single,free-thinker,iranian,stay with his younger bro,working as agent,plays guitar,not interested into cars..sms really helps me to know more bout this man!

just like it..

i really like this guy!act should be two..haha!maybe some people might say that im greedy..but i really like them!mehdi n ming yow!i think my closer should have heard bout them..letz talk bout ming yow..i first saw him in a school magazine..he was so dam chun k!'superman' post..haha!the one n only that had posted in that way!others were like trying to act cool,attractive,with all the wax or gel on top..spikey look...etc.my first impression was..this guy is so 'true'!really true from his heart!im so adore to him eventhough my frens always say that hez fat..NO!HEZ NOT K!hez chun in my point of view!hez the best of all the guys in that magazine..well im not gonna mention which school so that no1 will take revenge on that!i just added him at friendster n now waiting for his approval!oh my god!i feel weird..wut if he dun approve me!that must be a very very very sad thing n i dun wan this to happen!wut if he approve it..wut m i suppose to write to him!?msg?testi?i cant imagine if that day really come to my life!thatz must be cool rite?i hope i can hug somebody..i really wanna share my happiness with some1 immediately!

oh my god!really dam nervous man!i just went to coll..using the comp in the lab..trying to check out something that i act cant check it at home..how would it be??approve?review those people that i had added them previously n now stil waiting for their approvals..the feeling was really weird!!!i dun want this feeling!!!itz so desperating!!!i get so worry bout not being approve..how long do i have to wait for him!!!????should i cancel??so sad!!!!im so disappointed with it!!

Something special

This is the first time that IM posing my very first bloc here..Well..Kind happy..Coz many people can act share my feelings..Especially my closer1!i d knew this thing long time ago..but that time wasn't willing to let people know bout wut i think..wut i want..sometimes i wanna talk bout something,somebody which i dun really know wutz playing around in their mind k!sometimes i really dun like that attitude..i mean we should respect frenz..accept them..their personalities..but then i dun like it!i think people that know me well would hav understand this..if not..then forget bout it!