the feeling is somehow kinda different today...
i nv noe that i do care bout him much~i intended to reach the station before time cos i tot he'd be waiting there, tatz so poor thing~who noes he came late~~i'd got so pist off~i didnt wanna talk to him at tat moment when he arrived~~but i told myself that was my fault since i reached earlier, and considering this as a pay back of my previus cases...it then made me felt at least better to start talking to him.
but i was so not in the mood i've tried hard though~~ i felt somehow im the oni one doing all these...wutz the point of me trying hard to take this relationship so seriously since he doesnt even bother to care bout me rite???hahaa..i was kinda emo that i wouldnt wanna bother his way, i jus wanna have my way...money had been spent but in return for my satisfaction, which made me felt much better~at least i dun feel sorry to myself~~~luckily i was able to calm myself down, it'd be something unpleasant to happened otherwise.
watched terminator salvation today. it was kinda bored me off cos i found nothing interesting with the story line. i personally more preferable to terminator:the rise of the machines, that would be much greater!anyway, i was quite enjoying the moment at the cinema with him..haha~having a guy with his arm on u when u feel fear with any horror or disgusting sceneries are something sweet to be~his hands are warm when itz cold in the cinema~hahaha~
GOSH~seems that i'm use to have him with me for movies...kaka~
anyway, i really hope he'l be THE ONE~~i noe there shudnt be selfishness with personal perspective and preference in someonez personality...he has got his personal way in doing so, but i really hope he could be THE ONE~~somehow, i have a feeling, not even to tat stage and the game might have over~haha~~im bad indeed, nv deny~~^^
anyway, i hope he'l get wut im trying to hint to him...the reasons that i've treated him this way today, being horny in front of him..kakakka~~~there are things which im wishing well that he could understand someday and fix things right.....i'l give it some time~~^^
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
a prelude to a kiss
wowow...im in a relationship~
how could i be feelin in this way?weirdo~itz long story to go ,but wut i noe is im in a relationship wit a guy,but not really so in love with him totally~from the beginning, i kept reminding myself not to take it so seriously cos i'l make sure not gonna get myself hurt from this guy,perhaps peeps~haha~~noe wut?i nv had any good feeling on him b4 he had actually asked me for being his gf?at tat moment,i treated it as a silly joke~come on..wutz with all these happening in my life?no defend that i've alwis wishing wit obsession in getting a bf..at least someone who likes and intend to date me out..wel, i've met one,but seems not to be the loving-you story~AHAA~~here comes the prob, or perhaps problems that i've been thinking and jus worrying too much..haha~
why are all these keep bothering me?i ask myself alwis, wutz the point of thinking of these if i dun even bother to stay long in a relationship? wel, i jus knew one thing, hez my bf now,i cant be treating him so unfairly..guys are not tough all the time, they need to feel secure as well...at this moment, i feel somehow getting into a relationship seems as an assginment to me, whereby i noe wut shud i be doing, how shud i do it to get the best result of it...haha~CRAPS~~~im ridiculous for sure~i'l try my very best in doing my part~~~i jus hope he'l feel great and happie...hmm, im wondering isnt this the good sign indicating that im fallin in love with him?im loving him??perhaps i do without realising..haha~hope things are getting better...at least i do miss him~
one thing weird,we had kissed..even french kiss~should i say how i would expect it to be- a prelude to a kiss, the soul, the style that probably light up my nerves, the feel of the touch by the interaction of the lips,where itz heavenly awesome with the sense of security and comfort that i barely unable to release him~~the feel of the love in the airy flow makes me hardly breath for some time...AW~
perhaps, im expecting too much from him,which is sooo unfair~~i knew it there must be NO for all this comparisons~i couldnt stop it somehow~im ...im ...im aaa.....
how could i be feelin in this way?weirdo~itz long story to go ,but wut i noe is im in a relationship wit a guy,but not really so in love with him totally~from the beginning, i kept reminding myself not to take it so seriously cos i'l make sure not gonna get myself hurt from this guy,perhaps peeps~haha~~noe wut?i nv had any good feeling on him b4 he had actually asked me for being his gf?at tat moment,i treated it as a silly joke~come on..wutz with all these happening in my life?no defend that i've alwis wishing wit obsession in getting a bf..at least someone who likes and intend to date me out..wel, i've met one,but seems not to be the loving-you story~AHAA~~here comes the prob, or perhaps problems that i've been thinking and jus worrying too much..haha~
why are all these keep bothering me?i ask myself alwis, wutz the point of thinking of these if i dun even bother to stay long in a relationship? wel, i jus knew one thing, hez my bf now,i cant be treating him so unfairly..guys are not tough all the time, they need to feel secure as well...at this moment, i feel somehow getting into a relationship seems as an assginment to me, whereby i noe wut shud i be doing, how shud i do it to get the best result of it...haha~CRAPS~~~im ridiculous for sure~i'l try my very best in doing my part~~~i jus hope he'l feel great and happie...hmm, im wondering isnt this the good sign indicating that im fallin in love with him?im loving him??perhaps i do without realising..haha~hope things are getting better...at least i do miss him~
one thing weird,we had kissed..even french kiss~should i say how i would expect it to be- a prelude to a kiss, the soul, the style that probably light up my nerves, the feel of the touch by the interaction of the lips,where itz heavenly awesome with the sense of security and comfort that i barely unable to release him~~the feel of the love in the airy flow makes me hardly breath for some time...AW~
perhaps, im expecting too much from him,which is sooo unfair~~i knew it there must be NO for all this comparisons~i couldnt stop it somehow~im ...im ...im aaa.....
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