staying or leaving?

matthew is back to life again!i'd got bored with him..well,i luv him but i just dun want anything to change at this time..itz impossible k!we cant be together..for sure!getting high n excited was something 'used to be' n i hope that hez reading this..but i dun dare to let him know my title..hahah!stupid rite?stay or just leave?as a closer1..of course i want him to stay..but i think he would have a better future in u.s. n thatz why i dun dare to say anything which makes him consider that i want him to stay here!i mis out to introduce this man..35 year-old,stil single,malaysian..others as p&c!i really hope he'l stay coz frankly i feel kinda fun to 'hang up the phone'..haha!itz fun to fancy a guy who is so many years older than yourself!he was 17 when my mom brought me to this world!try to figure outla!can i just ask him to stay?i actually have thought if this question for a trillion times but i dun have the guts to ask him!not even via sms!itz kinda expensive to call him or sms him coz hez in u.s. now!anyway,i wanna tell him that i really luv u as my fren!our 'relationship' is actually more than frens,more than couples,more than relatives..something like BROTHERS!!!!!i luv u bro!of course i'l b the younger1 k!