untitled!

im feeling so dam low now!!!i really wanna say out but then i hope my words wont hurt anyone....n i have to say sorry for beig rude to u guys!

lately i feel that the ppl around me change n this is a normal thing in life rite??i wont ignore it whereby im trying to get myself used to it!n im forcing myself so difficult to go it!!i noe itz not a good thing but i dun hope to get lack out with that...but sometimes i really feel exhausted cos i dun hope to disappoint them..but i dun wanna stress up myself to get used to it!!!i feel kinda reluctant to do that..perhaps i have done it i exchange of unhappiness in my life!i dun meant to hurt them but then i dun wanna make myself get hurt as well!!im feeling so dam sad cos im so worried that i might get left far behind there...but i dun feel like doing it at the same time...i dun wanna force myself any more!thatz enough!!!perhaps u may say that im being too selfish...i should have think of other ppl before telling all this craps here rite?i alreay tried my best..i dun hope to face the same situation for the second time....i dun dare to cry in front of my frens cos they may think that im too sensitive or emotional...i really wanna tell u bro!!!i dun intend to tell my sis cos she has been so dam sad bout her project...i dun wanna trouble u!!!perhaps i might tell u later bout my prob!i really hope that hez here to consolt me when im feeling so down....im running out of idea bout what is gonna next...wut should i do...but i would always question myself at the first place:am i doing the right thing?i would always ask my frens bout it...n listen to their opinions....perhaps there are other alternatives in dealing the same prob...

im so dam over exhausted!!!!!!!my exam is just around the corner...NO!..should be next week...i din practice my piano exam pieces at all...n my teacher is going to lecture me...sooner or later,i might started to dislike my piano lesson...wel,i have less interest in that!im so dam worried bout my sem 1 exam!!!though ppl around me keep saying that itz easy n itz just the beginning...but i really hope to do well in that exam...i wanna prove to my family that im serious in my study!!im not playing a fool in my study!somehow,i just feeling that my sister n my dad dont put a trust on me!!this make me lost my freedom!!they think that i dislike wut m i studying now!frankly,i would say maybe n i did thought of that...but i dun bother bout the subject that im studying or bout my interest...i jus wanna study!!!i dun bother!i jus wan my freedom!i wan my style!i dun wanna treat my frens in such a way that im supposed to making them satisfied!thatz not me!sometimes,i really dun like explaining to them...i dun wanna bother!!i jus wanna say "oo...","ok...",hmmm...nothing much to talk bout it..."...or perhaps just a smile!i think this should be better!!at least i dun have to crack on my head to think of any reasons or explanations....sometimes,i found there is no topics amomg us n im forcing myself to figure out some kinda nonsense n just bring it out when a moment we have zero things...only a silent moment with the air flowing!i hate that n this has changed me to become a talkactive person!i stil rmb one of my frens told me that she prefers me to talk n laugh instead of being silent!i sounds weird n arrogant in that way!!since then,i crap all the time...n this has naturally become part of my features!!!therefore,my frens would found me unpleasant if im not talking for that day...or maybe a moment!im an easy-going person in their point of view n i dun have any idea bout myself!i prefer to see myself in others' point of view!!perhaps they might say im fake,inmoral,arrogant....etc...n wut i can response is "ooo...ok..."n just get to know myself better!

somehow,i jus feel that there is 'trend'..i dun believe that at first...i thought things wont be as like wut other ppl told me..perhaps i was too stupid at that time...back to this,ppl will behave in this way when they are approach to that situations..n the equility wont maintain all the time...the lifestyle would be differed...perspective of thinking may not equal..

last but not least,thanks bro for giving the support indirectly!i appreciate that!of cos im excited bout that!music brings us alive rite???once again i would like to apologize for being rude...much love to everyone!peace*