he carried me ^^

wut a day...wowowo~~~so happening~~~

i forced myself to wake up from bed early in the morning to sms him ..i noe the feeling of being sent a sms of support from the love one...the feeling is jus so sweet~~perhaps he might not have such a feeling, but to me, i jus love to do it for my bf...jus a cheer up and supports for my bf before his exams ^^ after that, i felt my nostrils were clogged and went to wash off...who noes it jus bleed..sigh~~i din notice tat the blood was dripping while i was walking back to my room...oni when i saw the blood dripped on my paper...YEEEE~~

really happie and anticipating wutz gonna happen among us in the K room...i tot it would be real great ^^ met a fren at bank, wel, shud be ex teacher...he looks great now, and even being more talkactive than previously...hez sociable now ^^ great thing ^^ well, waited for him quite some time at the bus stand, i felt pist off, but once i saw him , i felt ntg when he explained to me.. ^^
recently felt really BROKE that i got tight up wit my financial probs....sighhh~~~i've been spending so much ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~i noe itz all my own fault, i cant be blaming anyone, sometimes i put questions to myself, isit worthwhile for spending those money???i dun even noe the answer, but i jus realised that i've been spending so much after being together wit him...i realised that gals are typical...i hope to look good so that he could be proud to have such a nice gf..somehow, it needs a lot of money for it ~~~~I AM SO BROKE~~ and i think i cant be going anywhere for this coming few weeks...i cant even be eating ...perhaps jus eat at home...cos i hav A LOT to cover...im getting into trouble...DAM IT~~~i hav so much to cover back ...T.T...i think i need to learn for being selfish..hohoho~~

anyway, we were late to K cos of waiting for the bus...reached the destination at last....everything seemed to be alright until i felt something was not going right...i started to be helpless at tat moment...i dinno wut to do...he wasnt looking great and not even talking to me, not even bother to reply me or look at me or us when we talked to him...GOSH~~wutz happening???can anyone tell me wut happen ???OMG~~~~we felt somethingz wrong, i felt lost and dinno wut shud i be doing, until he left the room...OMG~~~ling ling and lui lui were worried too, and i walked out of the room to search for him...i saw him sitting all alone at the staircase...he looks miserable...i guessed that i must had done something hurtful or unpleasant to him until he felt this way.. i could even felt that hez quite upset from his eyes...were all red....i dinno wut to do or to say either..i jus wanna hug him tightly~~~i felt scare at the same time too..i really hope that he'l tel me my mistake so that i would nv repeat the same mistake to hurt him..but he looked so miserable and speechless..and i tot it would be something really unpleasant that hit his boiling point !!i was way too forcing him where he jus din feel to sing, i shy him away when he refused to it few times after i'd asked him for it, i went to enjoy wit my frens and kept him being alienated aside.....i think not oni this, there shud be much more, but he din say out wut was it jus bcos i think itz helpless to say it out since i'd done all these to him, and itz too late to say it out after it had happened...my heart was aching after knowing that my babe wasnt happie wit all these and i made him even more uncomfortable, my thoughts were so confused and lost until i couldnt controlled my tears...i tried not to cry every time when we were on a heat, but im jus a cry babe...my tears would jus drop whenever i feel sad T.T
i felt sad to see him being so miserable..
i felt heart aching that i made my babe suffered..
i felt worried bout my babe not telling and sharing me his thoughts and feelings even he wasnt happie..
i felt helpless that i couldnt make my babe happie..
i was afraid to see my babe in anger..
i felt failure cos i couldnt make my babe release his pressure and unhappiness after a lousy exam day..
i felt guilty that i alwis pressure my babe..

i jus feel somehow that im such a demanding person that makes my babe's life in misery...i jus wondering is my babe happie to be wit me since i've been requesting for so many things...most importantly, im alwis worry that wil my babe give up on our relationship cos of being too pressured?i couldnt imagine how would i be if my babe was gonna give up on me!!!!!and i am alwis afraid wutz gonna happen to us once i graduate and enter into my career lifetime??sighhh....wut fy said was true...dun be pessimistic and alwis overworried bout the future since things are not under our control...jus enjoy the moment!!!i think i shud be like this rather than thinking wutz would probably happen in future and thinking for the solution from now on...sighh~~~WHY AM I BEING SO OVERWORRIED????

anyway, i felt lovely whenever hez trying to stop my tears....at least he would hug me whenever i cry...this is wut i wan my bf to be...to be there for me when i feel sad...and he managed to do it ^^ sometimes i jus wonder wut if he nv bother to care bout me when i cry in front of him cos hez been bore wit it dy...haha~~i hope he'l not >.<.....and one thing i would like to say here, cybercolour gel eye liner is good cos my make up nv get blurred off even i cried like nobody business...i strongly recommending tat eye liner cos itz really waterproof ^^ wowo...nv regret of buying it...hohoho~~
i really could feel that we love each other so much cos we alwis wanna see each other live a happy life.. and we're trying hard to fulfil each other to be happie ^^ this is the main reason that i'l nv give up on him.....even when i knew that he wasnt doing quite well in his exam or might not even pass good in the exam, i'l nv give up cos i noe things wil be great if we put effort together to work things right...i wont give up on my babe because we love each other~~i wil not help him, but to assist him to achieve his success ^^ this is wut true love is, to overcome all probs together and nv give up so easily ^^

by the way, he carried me at his back ~~~~~~~~~~YEAH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~this was the very first time he carried me successfully..from the staircase along the corridor until the room ..keke~~~~the feeling was really great cos this was the first time for me being carried by my bf at public!!!itz so sweet to me~~~cos it makes me feel that we jus live in our own world of two without bothering wut others would think bout us...NICE~~~~~I LOVE IT~~but i think hez got freaking tired of it...kakakka...wit my weight...hoho~~hez gonna break his arms man~~HAHAHAHA~~sadly he has no choice cos his my babe...kakaka~i think ling ling and lui lui must be curious wut happened to us...kaka~~went out in serious mode and came back wit sweet mode..hahhaah~~im so happie that he intended to ask me for a duet...T.T~~~~~i noe he wasnt willing to sing..but my babe wan me to be happie ^^ he jus decided to do it for me ^^ muackz~~~the feeling and atmosphere weree totally 360 radical changed ^^ one thing i shud say is THX a lot to my lingling cos she was there for me, although she din do or say a thing, but jus an eye contact and a warm hand made me feel contented tat i hav my fren and babe together at the same time...she jus consoled me wit her warm hand touched on me before things gone to be so happie ^^

after all, everything was in a funny mode...lui lui is the pirated MJ~~~hohohoh...furthermore, hez a great whistler ~~~WOWOWO~ COOL~~~~~and my babe sings so lovely to me...hehe ^^hez alwis lovely to me ^^

we'd chatted so much today, in the bus, in McD, at the street while waiting for bus, at MSN, webcam...i really hope that my babe would nv give up and work things right TOGETHER wit bibi...bibi doesnt hope to see babe give up even itz tough like hell...no matter how tough it is, bibi will alwis be by babe side and nv give up cos bibi loves babe so much and nv wanna lose babe in bibi's life T.T