im selfish~~

i have no idea wutz gonna happen later...

somehow i really feel myself kinda stupid...why didnt i choose the easy way instead of lying to my dad????perhaps this might be part of my mistake and i've gotta bear the responsitbility too ~but i jus feel that itz time for me to grow!!i noe i'd for sure to been through all these, but jus the matter of time~perhaps this is the time for me to really rebel and get used to being independent wit myself..but it seems pretty sad without sharing happiness and sadnesses wit my family~~~however, i do feel that they dun really share it wit me, i mean when im trying my best to share it out wit them , they seem not to bother so much on me,not like my sis~i dun mean to have jealousy,but somehow, i dun feel a part of them ~itz pretty obvious that i seems to have no communication channel wit them~perhaps, yes but not the right way for it~somehow i jus feel im alwis the exclusion, when i feel sad, they seem not to even bother to ask wut happen, even i choose to cry in the bath room rather than telling them wutz act going on, cos i noe they would jus say, forget bout it or wutever!!i got fucking fed up wit this kinda language...

perhaps of this situation that has cause my upbringing to become someone that is selfish!!