dun force me to take the last move~

i feel kinda miserable...

i tot i found someone who is so lovely but it seems to be a mistake in the end~~i really tot of having a long term relationship with him and it seems to be another big mistake again~~there things happening that makes me feel i would not be his choice, perhaps just a fling i would say to him. i tot i could fall for him so seriously that i would not care about other things...i've tried so hard to overcome the age prob~~i've really tried my best to not take that in account cos i noe that shouldnt be a matter of it. although i could feel it sometimes, i dun get to be bothered cos i do not hope that this would be a reason to ruin our relationship~

somehow, there are other factors are coming at the same time that holds me back from falling into him~i feeel really bad and upset wit wutz goin on with us~i tot i could enjoy a really nice and sweet relationship with him~i really try to treasure him and appreciate him~~seems like this is jus merely of my perspective and there are differences in our thoughts which i found out to be pretty pressure for me to adapt~~whenever i tot things are going along so well, it came again the question that makes me feel miserable... i mean im confused and lost bout wut am i to him???
perhaps i takes thing too seriously, or i shouldnt have take him so seriously into life at the first place~~~why are u asking me like this???i really dun like it... or I HATE IT when u seems to urge me for an answer~~~cos ya questions makes me to question myself how much do i love u...i really feel pressure~~although it could be nothing to u .. but i'l take it seriously~~having sex without love is meaningless.... but now the case that makes me in predicament... cos u are my bf...and i noe i should or would do it cos u are my bf~but isnt it the point that i should be concerning? and when this happens to be many times, i'l started to feel fed up, and slowly got piss off~~~i dun hope to ruin it ....and i DUN HOPE TO SAY IT OUT~dun force me to take the last move~