i've changed,im changing...

hey guys....im back!!!

finally,i got the chance to pour out some of my feelings and thoughts here,recently i've been buzy with my sem2 exams n oso some stuffs..hmmm...act many things happened during this period of time...n i was kinda ignorance to write them out here..but i'd thought of sometimes n intended to tell u guys...why did i have such an idea?hmmm...act i was afraid that u guys might have some bad ideas bout me since me myself have realised that u've changed a lot...perhaps physically but for sure my attitudes and mentally has changed a lot!frankly i was kinda worried that i might change to a person that u guys would nv accept me as ya fren,or as ya sis bro!!after reading wut had happened to me,,,n u would surely say that i've changed!

where shud i begin then..hmmm....but i noe im feeling pretty desperate n lost a this moment...the feelings are kinda perculiar...as in i dunno whether wut im doing now is correct or a mistake in life..perhaps everyone has to fall once in their life...but i do think that itz kinda over since i found myself has got many things hidden behind my family...i dun wanna be like this...feel kinda guilty...

have u heard of em-pay.com?yea...i've invested a small sum of money into it...but wut im feeling really frustrated is when can i get the profits?i know i shudnt have complaint so much but then im an impatient person....i wan something fast recovery though it might be high risky!but at least i could see the rebates in a short term!i think i might prefer that!for me,i really dun have the passion in investing in such thing...itz so dam boring!i dun wan d...30% tat im kinda worry bout the money,60% tat im kinda boring with it cos itz slow recovering,10% tat im not interested anymore!wel,dear,dun get misunderstood if u read this...cos i dun meant to hurt u or blame u,,,jus that i really need a medium for me to express my desperation!the main thing that makes me really frustrated is how could barry earn so much i cant!??????BARRY!!!!!!he told me that u r not gonna search for ppl and wait for them to arrange for u...cheh!!!purposedly wanna show off to me!!!!geram betul!

next,i would like to say that tt is leaving to further his studies...well,at first this would be dam killing for me...but the most killing part is the result of avoiding it..i mean im trying to aviod myself for not seeing him...so that i wont be feeling so sad or even better,why has he to appear in front of me!?i know itz all my fault of loving such a person that who even not treating me as a fren...or etc...YES!i stil admire him much cos there is no reason for me to hate him!though he seems to be really annoying..but....haih!but then i really have no other alternative to make myself clear!wut shud i do?andrew,u'l nv help me out man cos we have da same prob...noe wut?i tried to concern all my feelings towards u...sometimes i do admire ya styled in doing some stuffs...but then the prob is the feelings...i mean i have no heart beating whenever with u,itz like really comfortable to be with a true fren..or really good bro,for sure i'l care bout u much ...jus that we are too closed with one and another....anyway,i really love u much !!tatz for sure!and one more bad thing is ...BARRY!!!!he reminds me of tt whenever i see him...they look alike!sobs sobs!