should i?

i was kinda late to mirado today cos i just need to rush for my bath. i got a feeling when on my way to the music school..i knew that i might not be seeing them..well,i just ignored my feelings cos usually things would be the opposite of wut i have expected!who knows this really happened yesterday!i was kinda sad..not to say sad but disappointed...something was missing...i had totally lost my mood at all eventhough i din show it out..but i know that my teacher should have realised bout it!questions arose when someone told me that tt din come n so to shap!i have no guts to ask lynden cos he might think something else..but i really wanna know!!!speding holidays in somewhere else?sick?preparing for another performance?preparing for exams?the lights are still off!!just a sense of curiosity onlymer...but it seems non of my business=(
during my lesson,my teacher asked me question...it seemed to be tough for me to answer but act i already have the answer,how m i supposed to express it!? "who do u like the most between them?"...i think u could have figure it out rite?however,itz useless for u to know the answer since the person involved does not know bout it!i just have prob of how to treat the one i like!!frankly,i treat shap really good...itz nice n comfortable to talk to him,play with him..hez such a good guy!i just like to talk to him...have fun with him..n i'l melt whenever he smiles cos itz really adorable n sweet!meanwhile,the one i like just treats me differently from how shap treats me!!somehow i just feel that he dislikes me,trying to avoid from me cos i got a feeling that he knows i like him!hez so 'cold' to me..how m i supposed to melt?i feel so frustrating...many people ask me not to like him but my feelings ask me not to let go!i know itz impossible but i just like him!i admire the way he takes music in his life!i love the way he loves music!hez the guy that i hope to have in life...no matter at which stage..there are so many guys out there who are much greater than him..why do i fall in luv with him?i hardly understand..i was really sad when i knew he has a wealthy family background..this will always be the first thing i bother bout a guy that i like..yet hez considered independent cos he seems not to rely on his family!i was so impressed when someone told me that he ran away from home to stand for his freedom where he desires to be a guitarist n a music teacher!i started to admire him since then!'no music no life' just suits him!