he loves me in his heart

wut a day

my feeling was overwhelming starting from last night cos we were going to meet today.finally after few days of not seeing each other, the moment was so anticipating until i couldnt got myself to sleep for more hours.i woke up 8 in the morning by the alarm clock. i had a feeling that he would be coming before 10am, i believed it ..hehe!the feeling was great, waiting someone that u love so much, the anticipation brought butterflies in my stomach.

until i received a text from him, he was stuck at home unless his mom had left the house. i understood the situation and the mood was not influenced at all.i've done some household, enjoying the time of cleaning up the house..

until i received a text from him, he asked me whether or not he managed to get here by 10 am with the terrific traffic jams everywhere and rigid public transports of LRT and buses. somehow i kinda misunderstood that he would have hinted not to come over due to the time consuming.however, my thought had misjudged him,my bad!but i noe he would be in trouble of getting over to my place, i knew that it would be sort of bore, i knew i shudnt be blaming and screaming on him..

until i received a text from him, he insisted to take a cab ride to my house. obviously it is costly to him, the distance from his place to my plac wasnt a joke!!i felt really great on his intention and action.terrific traffic, inconvenience perhaps could be part of the reaons of choosing the cab, somehow those were not my interest, i jus hoped to see my babe as soon as possible ^^ and the person i love was on the way to see me ^^ i was really excited, choosing clothes which would made him felt great of seeing his bibi, i even decided to go for a vintage look of a jumpsuit of short skirt and with a bikini bra inside, thx to the push up bra that made my boobs looked fantastico!

until i received a text from him, his had been overspending for the week, he hinted somehow to post pone our valentine celebration due to his overload of outings wit frens that caused him to a financial breakdown..hahaha!!i nv replied his text.i am sure he knew he has posted a disappointment to me after the text was sent.he even mentioned it in the subsequent text msg. i remained of no reply, i trying hard to calm down, accept, absorb and adopt. i put myself to the best of doing other things, i tried not thinking bout it, having the best ever mood when he was about to arrive my place.

until he reached my house, i threw a smile at my face, i pretended as though i was real fine.somehow my facial expression betrayed and got a ruin of it.everything was fine even he had asked me some times,until he looked at me and hugged me.my heart as though was being stabbed by a sword, my heart was sort of not beating, keep bleeding, the pain wasnt normal to be jus bypass as though nothing had happened even it was jus little matter. i cried in his arms hugging me,he didnt noe wut was the reason behind to cause my tears dripping continuously.the very first time i pushed him away for times,his arms were strengthening, i ignored having direct eye contact wit him.looking at him would make me soft hearted to throw him my thoughts. it wasnt anger or disappointment either in my emotions, but i felt stupid and foolish wit myself, with wut have i done.having planning for a splendid Vday, saving money of getting a 'present for Him'...everything was alwis in my mind, the sceneries, the 'wut to do' list, the couple mix and match dressing, everything was inside my heart. u migh be thinking silly of me.NO WAY!this is our very first ever Vday...i demand something memorable.
after throwing my piece of mind to him, he could had a bad feeling that i might be asking for a break off.i went off to get my 'present to Him', which is a quiksilver wallet, that i had shopped for twice at one u and mid valley for 2 days separately for a nice one ^^ i personally considered it as a really nice designed wallet with suitable colour.my emo ruled me to march to my drawer and took out the wallet in the box, which is oso a nice pick of my choice after walking floors of units at mid valley, i love the design of the box wit a very masculine colour of gray with a black ribbon topping, it jus worth for my energy and money paying for the nice fancy box. however, i nv expected i would gifted him in such a situation..aiks!i wan a smile on his face when he opens the box, seeing the pressie beneath the cover.somehow, it was a bad feeling of him after seeing the pressie.i could see from his eyes, tears were dripping when he knew bout the 'present for Him'. that was the time i felt he was nv feeling better to see me crying so sadly in front of him.my heart was as if been stabbed wit a sword, he could have feeling to be stabbed by numbers of small knives. i could really saw his sadness of seeing his loved one having hard and sad time for himself,useless him of disappointing me always making him feeling guilty..somewhat he had many feelings running inside with a tough time of expressing it out to me. the oni way he done was to hug me tightly as to show how much he loves and cares me and wouldnt wan me to go..his breath and whisper of words too reflected he wasnt feeling great either. the situation was tensed,i struggled on the bed even he hugged me so tightly,i couldnt gave him my kiss when he kissed me.i even shy away when he insisted of kissing my lips.for some time he woke up while i was sleeping and crying with my pillow,no matter how, i couldnt stand a moment without his hug and attention when im in tear..i couldnt stand a moment without him when im in anger too.. it is undeniable that i need his attention and pamper all the time,perhaps it has been a habit since we started off the relationship.

until i began to calm myself,i started talking to him in norm.i couldnt sleep becos i knew that this was the time for me to see him and had him beside me, i would not wasted time to sleep, but i did for being emotional..sigh!my emotions for the day were as though running up and down like a rollercoaster. the fluctuation has remained normal after an hour of stormy rain..haha!i started punching his face, chest and arms, i even pinched him as a release..hehe!
after all, we even cooked our brunch together at the kitchen.it was funny time..hehe!!

at the end of the day, i realized that he loves me in his heart.