just read a blog written by my cousin..



happie birthday to my cousin sis- wei wei ...sweet 14 huh!how i wish im stil at teenage..but no more looo..reviewing wut i 've done during my teenage life,i felt pretty ashamed with myself,i act was a boring person,i did nothing special during the 5 years of my high school life..itz pretty sad!i was such an obedient daughter to my parents,obeying everything tat they asked me to do..why shudnt i be a little ignorance to them?!perhaps i shud have done something tat is memorable which at least makes my life to be a little bit colourful..something meaningful so tat i may have some stories to tell my grandchildren..kaka!



anyway,reading the blog,and sometimes watching some series,i felt that i am a truely loser!!!i've nv been through the feeling of having a bf over the 20 years!!!sometimes i might just feel so despearate of jus getting one...but am i suppose to get anyone else in order to fulfil wut i want?though i really hope to have someone there to love me..but isnt it good to just pick anyone out there?or i jus get whoever which is single and go ahead with the confession even i have no good feelings towards the guy!?or i would jus say yes to whoever that is available around me?hmm..i think i might not do this at this moment...i have doubt in future if im stil a single for another 10 years!i have worries on myself for not doing anything, and being pressure to regret in future whereby i have done nothing and nv appreciate my lifetime...or i might regret tat i've just left my lifetime passed in such a meaningless way...im so worry bout this!furthermore,i have no idea wut shud i do except the wishes tat i've listed down..

btw,i really have doubt on myself wutz happening in my life now..i tot i should achieve wutever targets that i've been set...however, i lose the dynamic and enthusiatism to continue my battle towards all my targets..sometimes i really need supports,either literally or mentally..i jus need supports!!!but no one seems to bother bout it...perhaps everyone has their own responsibility in their life..so would they bother bout others?i noe itz being bad to say this cos i noe tat there are of cos ppl who act care for me...i really cherish for their consideration!i love u guys!

hopefully i'l get to find myself very soon..i wanna get back to who i was to be..my confidence,my curiousity towards the surrounding,my passion towards my life,my reason of living in this world..

my listed wishes and targets to be done:
-lose weight preferably to 50kg
-do well in my study,wish to achieve distinction in degree
-write songs,compose songs...
-to be a friendly person,down to earth...learn from mistake...i dun wanna be sportlighted,but someone where ppl wil turn to me when they have probs,sadness..i dun mind to listen to them..

to be continued..